It’s Wednesday and the best ever #Unafraid Anonymous Emails are here. This is a time where you all can send in all your questions and comments without fear. Anonymity is guaranteed!
Send all your anonymous email questions to unafraidshow@gmail.com. And I will answer them.
Little twist this week. You guys have been enjoying #TheWifevsTheExpert. If you don’t know, it’s when DanishaDanielle (my wife) picks college football games against me The Expert against the spread. This week I decided to let her weigh in on the Anonymous emails. I give the best advice but she will tell you the “right thing”.
Make sure to share this post so everyone can enjoy!
On to the emails:
6 moths ago my brother and I bought 4 Hamilton tickets in Los Angeles. The intention was a date night with our wives. I put them on my credit card. They were going to pay me for them later. No big deal, he’s always good for it. About 3 months ago my brother finds out his wife of 5 years had been cheating on him with his boss. He promptly filed for divorce. Naturally, I’m pissed off at her. She’s begging him back and all that but he’s not having any of it. He’s proceeding with the divorce. The newest thing is that she still wants to go to Hamilton because the tickets are impossible to get (except inflated resale) and she was supposed to go. I told my brother don’t pay me for the tickets because it’s a gift, he’s going through a rough time. Now she wants to pay me for her ticket so she can go. My brother said it was up to me since I bought them. I really hate her ass for hurting my brother. My wife is unsure. Do I let her go or banish her with the lepers?
GEORGE: This is a tough choice for you. You can sell that one Hamilton ticket and pay for the whole night, or you can give it to the cheater and have to be around her all night.
Your brother knows whether he wants her to go or not. There is no way I would let my brother put this on me, so I could then be blamed later for it. He would have to make this decision. Since he’s strong enough to file for divorce, I’d assume he’s strong enough to weigh in with an actual opinion.
It sounds like your brother is basing his decision on how you feel. Otherwise he would have just said no. Your brother either feels so obligated to take her, or wants to reconcile with her. He’s thinking, “My bro just gave me expensive and hard to come by Hamilton tickets, and I know they what my wife did and do want to be around her so I’ll let him make the choice”. Don’t let it happen.
I get that you hate her for hurting your brother, but it’s not your life. You have to let him know that whatever decision he makes is ok and completely up to him. I read up to answer this question. Depending on what you read, 45-60% of people who have infidelity in their marriage get back together. And in cases of divorce, about 33% of couples get back together when the woman wants to reconcile.
The other option is to ask her to pay for the ticket if he allows her to go. At least you can feel better about your night knowing you didn’t have to fork over the cash for somebody you can’t stand right now.
If your brother and her get back together and she’s good to him, your feelings will change long term.
DanishaDanielle: As much as your guys planned a fantastic date night for all four of you, it will probably be pretty awkward and tension filled. Affairs are destructive not only to the marriage itself but also the relationships around the marriage. You have every right to be angry at your sister-in-law’s behavior, but what your brother needs right now is your support in his marriage…or in his divorce. Your sister in law probably wants to go to have a chance to reunite and have a fun night like you all used to. Your sister-in-law has a lot of making up to do if they even have a chance of working things out. Ultimately it is your brother’s decision and he needs your support no matter what.
This is a tough time for all of you. I’m sorry you are going through this. We will pray for your family.
This is a tough time for all of you. I’m sorry you are going through this. We will pray for your family.
After seeing that both Michael Crabtree and Aqib Talib were both suspended two games for fighting I was so pissed. This same thing happened to my son in 10th grade. A jealous kid who is a known bully slapped him in the back of the head and ripped off his gold chain. My son punched him in the face and proceeded to beat him up. Guess who got suspended? My kid. The administrators said he should have walked away after getting slapped and getting his chain snatched. This kid is just like Talib who has been in trouble numerous times. I don’t get it. I told my son if he does it again beat his ass again. What else was I supposed to tell my son?
GEORGE: I know my answer is going to be extremely unpopular amongst school administrators.
Let’s be real about this. We all teach our kids to walk away from situations, and tell the teacher etc. But there are some times that you have to stand up for yourself in life. Some people do not respect restraining orders and peaceful resolutions.
What I have learned in the world is that if you let one person get away with invading your personal space or disrespecting you others will follow suit. Some people don’t even do it maliciously; they just see that other people did it to you so it clearly is not a big deal if they do it to you.
My son wears a gold chain, if some kid purposely snatches his chain to disrespect him, he better do something to make sure it is abundantly clear to that kid and everyone else that trying to take his chain is a horrible idea. If he does not, he’s got to see dad.
The fact that the administrators suspended your son is awful. The NFL suspending Crabtree at all or even for the same length of time, as Talib is awful. You have a person who has had multiple incidents and suspensions punished the same way as a first time offender.
I find it laughable when people are repeatedly expected to respond civilly after someone has shown they won’t respond to civility. The administrators at your school are awful.
DanishaDanielle: No. You are absolutely right. Enough said. I, too don’t think Crabtree should have been ejected, suspended, or fined AT ALL. Every person has the right to not have his or her body and personal belongings violated. If your son were willing to stand up for himself and fight back, I would absolutely encourage him to do so. He should never start a fight but he can absolutely finish it in my book.
If your son is not willing to stand up for himself I would do whatever other measures are necessary to escalate things- authorities at the school, police, and even a civil suit if necessary. That’s if I can do so before my husband showed up to “talk” to this kid.
The guy I’m dating just got a dog. He got a Yorkshire Terrier. This turned me off. A man is not supposed to get a little bitty dog. I can just envision him carrying it around instead of letting it walk. I like big dogs and manly men. He’s a good dude, but I think a man that like small dogs might be gay. Am I wrong for this?
GEORGE: Just because a man owns a small dog doesn’t make him gay. However, a man that carries a small dog might be gay. I must admit that whenever I see guys with small dogs the thought does cross my mind. There is no reason for dogs that are not injured to be carried.
I’m not a small dog fan, for the exact reason you said. It does not feel very masculine. It’s like driving a Mini Cooper instead of a Ferrari. In all transparency, I am in a two-dog family. ShiTzu (12lbs) and Portuguese Water Dog (35 lbs). We needed hypoallergenic dogs (don’t @ me about dogs not being hypoallergenic. They work for my family) and large breeds don’t have too many options. I have grown to like the ShiTzu, however, when my daughter leaves the house for college, she will be taking the dog ASAP and we can replace him with a real dog!
DanishaDanielle: Dead ass wrong. Please do not listen to my husband. A man who likes small dogs is not gay. I man who has sex with other men is gay. If he’s a good man let him be himself and enjoy what he likes.
I love football season. I get to watch football and nobody bothers me. I’m growing sad because college football season is winding down. I will only have Sunday’s to watch NFL football. As soon as football is over my wife whom I love will be asking me to do all sorts of things I hate. She likes to go to farmer’s markets and art classes with me. I HATE it but I pretend to like it because she is cool during football season. My question is how do I keep my weekends free when football season is over without pissing my wife off? Or how can I tell her I hate the things I’ve pretended to like for years?
GEORGE: You are 100% screwed. You are living the good life bro. Don’t make waves. Be thankful your wife leaves you alone during football season. You have to suck it up the other 7.5 months per year. If you fuss about doing the stuff you hate or refuse to do it, next football season is going to be hell!
Your wife sounds like the artsy creative type. I would suggest finding something arty and creative that you don’t mind doing and show up bright eyed and bushy tailed! You might like it, and also when you don’t feel like doing it, remember it will all be worth it come mid August!
DanishaDanielle: You and my husband are cut from the same cloth. I love football too, but he could watch it for a year straight and enjoy every single second of it. I think all things are best when taken in moderation. I also think its good to be open to new things and have a spirit of compromise within your marriage.
As much as spending quality time together with your wife is important, it’s also important to to maintain your identity and keep your own hobbies. Taking an interest in your wife’s interests will help maintain your marriage but maintaining your own interests will help maintain your sanity. Best of luck to you both. We are all trying to figure this marriage thing out.