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My wife and I have been married for 18 years. I believe we have done a good job of teaching our kids the importance or character, faith, and doing the right thing. We have raised our kids with open communication and we pride ourselves on being our kids friend. Our oldest daughter is 17 and is a junior in high school. She has always been a good student and good citizen. Lately, she has been closed off and secretive. She changed her passcode to her phone, made her Instagram and Snapchat private and won’t let anyone near it. I am concerned but I do not want to violate her privacy. I want to check her phone, social media, and put a location tracker on her phone. What if I do it and she hates me for it? What do I do?
Firstly, I see is that you are too concerned with being your kids’ friend than being their parent.
Secondly, If my kid thinks they are going to have a social media account that I don’t have access to, they won’t have a social media account. I’ll lock the whole damn phone and computer. There are apps for that!
I believe in talking with your kids and having open and honest conversations with them so they actually talk to you and don’t keep secrets. However, if my kids switch up like your daughter did I will get all up in their shit! I’m talking random phone checks, location tracker, and keystroke monitoring. Some of this would be done covertly, and some she would know about. Your job is to protect your kids and train them up properly. Secrets are no good.
The last thing you want on your hands is a teen pregnancy, drug use, or suicide. Sometimes you have to make decisions in her best interest that she will not like. She may be mad at you for a while, but better that than the alternative.
I guarantee your daughter will not hate you and will get over it if you have been a loving and nurturing parent. She will eventually thank you for it. I’d be willing to bet something is going on.
Time to put those big boy daddy pants on and be a parent and not a friend first.
Just watched your live show when I got home from work and found myself wondering….it’s never too soon to have the conversation about guns and, imo, it’s been decades overdue. not opposed to the ownership of guns and do agree that things (for the greater good) need some kind of regulation…my question is this: what does the government do with those who get things off the black market, etc.?
I am a second amendment supporter, however I do realize that these amendments were agreed upon at the same 1787 Constitutional Convention that said blacks slaves should be counted as 3/5 of a person. So, I recognize there may need to be some tweeking to the gun laws to make them more up to date with the day and age. We have done that to many other amendments, so why would guns be so sacred that laws cannot be modified to protect the masses.
Most times when people in government say it’s too soon to talk about guns after a shooting they are getting checks from gun lobbyist or the NRA.
I don’t know what the answer to what sensible gun law legislation is but I do know that people convicted of violent crimes, domestic violence, or have certain mental diagnosis shouldn’t be allowed to buy guns. I also know that we need to do the right thing ASAP before more blood is spilled on our street with legally bought guns.
As far as the black market, the reality is ordinary citizens with legally bought weapons aren’t out in the street defending their family in shootouts against people with black market weapons. Most of these black market weapons surround drugs and crime. You get crime together the demand for black market weapons goes down.
I am not a great athlete. Neither is my wife. My son is in 9th grade at a top private school that has great academics and athletics. He is not extremely quick, tall, and doesn’t have hops. He plays extremely hard, is a phenomenal shooter and ball handler. This summer we stepped up his competition on the AAU circuit and he got demolished by the more athletic kids. He swears he is going to be an NBA player. I love my kid and have invested at least 50k in the last 2 years on shooting coaches, personal training, and a custom diet for him. Then there are the AAU fees, travel, etc. At this point I believe I’m wasting money. He’s not going to the NBA and won’t get a college scholarship. He’s just not physically gifted enough. I don’t want to be a dream killer because I tell him he can be whatever he wants in life if he works hard.
So how do I break it to him that I’m done forking out all this cash for a dream that’s not coming true?
This kid is a money pit. You need your ass whooped for spending 100k (50k + AAU fees and travel) on middle school kid sports training. I wouldn’t care if my kid is the second coming of LeBron, it’s not worth that cash. You have set a bad precedent. If you stop it will be like a divorce for you. This kid has “grown accustomed” to a certain lifestyle, and he’s gonna be pissed if it stops. You said it yourself that the kid just doesn’t have the God given ability to be an athlete however do not be a dream killer. You have three choices at this point.
1. Stop the bleeding but still support his dream.. Your kid clearly has qualities that will get him far in life. He is hard working and doesn’t give up when he gets his teeth kicked in. Investing in a kid like this is a good investment, but 100k is ridiculous. Get that 100k down to a level that you feel is commensurate with his athletic ability before it turns into 500k. He will appreciate you for supporting his dream despite how unrealistic you believe it is. A lot of people have done a lot of things no one thought the could.
2. Double Down. If you double down and focus on his education so he gets into a good school basketball school like Duke, North Carolina, or UCLA he may be able to walk on at one of those schools. You don’t mind shelling out the cash, so I bet you can make that happen. Maybe from there he goes on to be a NBA coach or general manager. You would have made his dreams come true.
3. Jedi Mind Trick. You need to start getting this kid interested in things other than basketball. Keep letting him train, just cut it back some and find something else he is interested in. She is he likes art, golf, stocks, business, or anything else. You might actually find that he likes something he can monetize. You could then invest in his idea and recoup some of that cash.
I applaud you for being industrious enough to have about 100k of disposable income to devote to helping your kid to succeed in 7thand 8th grade, but stop while you are not ahead.
I have a cool job and have been at it a while. A new more prestigious position opened up and I applied but did not get it. Another lady got the job, but it wasn’t a big deal because it was a long shot. She is now my new boss and I’m now having trouble with new office dynamics. She seems upset I even applied for the job though she got it. She used to be ok now she’s a manipulative, insecure and deceitful boss? She withholds information that is needed to know to do my job right. I love my job but don’t know how to handle this. Did this ever happen in football and what did you do?
This job doesn’t sound so cool anymore. It sounds like it sucks. This lady clearly wants you gone, or in a position to consistently use you as the whipping boy/girl to prop herself up.
Right now if sounds like you are playing defense and always on your heels. That’s not going to work in this situation. It is time to go on the offensive. I have a plan for you. Start looking at other job opportunities in case she gets you fired before you can execute the second part of the plan. You have to do this very quietly though.
The second part is strategic and crafty. You have to start making your other coworkers and superiors see her how you see her. But, you can’t just outright say it, you have to make it seem like they formed this opinion on their own. Show them your work, ask for their input on the situation. Be transparent and cc: them on emails etc that way when something is missing, they can see who left out the key information. They will be happy to help you with your job and will be advocates for you behind closed doors.
You may have to light a couple fires then play the burn victim. Start a problem and when the person reacts go on defense and be scared, offended, or insulted. This always works in life. I’ve never done it but I’ve had it done to me and seen it in action many times. Whoever plays the victim role better gets the most sympathy.
I hope this plan works for you. If you plan it carefully enough you will win!