It’s Wednesday and the best ever #Unafraid Anonymous Emails are here. This is a time where you all can send in all your questions and comments without fear. Anonymity is guaranteed!
Send all your anonymous email questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. And I will answer them.
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On to the emails:
The level of my social skills is very low. I want to date more but I think I sent off the wrong messages. I’m sure a guy from my building has a crush on me but I don’t think he wants to make any more moves because he’s afraid I’ll reject him. I see him every day when we are out walking our dogs. It’s 2017, as women, I guess I should be okay with asking him out myself, but I think a man should ask a woman out. What can I do to get his attention w/o looking desperate or thirsty? I thought I was dropping hints when I always ask him a question when I see him.
GEORGE: There are a couple of things that could be happening in your situation.
You are not sending the “come get me you man you” messages you are wanting to. Or he’s like most men who just miss some of the signs and signals women try and throw up.
For most of my life, I believed that the man, “got the woman”. He some kind of way through his looks, charm, persistence, or infinite wisdom got a woman’s affection. Yea well, Danisha opened my eyes to the secret lives of women. They regularly and intentionally do things to get a man’s attention that we men believe is just an “organic” interaction. I’m not talking about the obvious stuff like bending over or asking for help with something she clearly knows how to do. I’m talking about sending flowers to herself on Valentine’s Day so men see it and feel some kind of way type stuff.
He could just be a guy who is not confident in his abilities to talk to you.
The moral of the story is: be proactive. Ask him to go to coffee or for a smoothie. That is innocent enough that you don’t look thirsty, but forward enough to give him a little confidence boost.
My boyfriend posts naked pictures of himself online. Am I wrong for wanting it to stop? His justification for it has always been it helps him express himself and embrace his sexuality. To me when he gets hundreds of comments from both men and women telling him what they’d like to do to him- that feels almost like cheating to me. Am I just acting like a crazy jealous girlfriend? Or do I like have a place to ask him to stop? (we’ve been dating for 2 years so this is not a like a new thing)
GEORGE: You cannot ask that man to stop posting naked pictures of him online. He has been doing this for 2 years that you know of. If you get off on posting naked pictures online, who knows how many women have screenshots of this dude.
The reality is your boyfriend has no plans on doing anything great out in the world. His choices have made it so he can’t do anything notable or accomplished in almost any profession. This naked flixx are bound to come out an sabotage his career.
Your best bet is to get a new boyfriend, get with the program and expect nothing great out of him, or wait it out and hope he wants to change and seek therapy.
So there’s this neighbor that lives next to us that I’m almost certain abuses his dog. I’d hear him yell at the dog all the time, the dogs always slouched and looks weak, and one time when I and a few friends were walking and the dog was in our way, the owner grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out of the way. I have no clue man, either this is paranoia. But who should I contact about this?
GEORGE: I don’t like nosey neighbors. I am typically a mind your own house, don’t worry about mine kind of person, but I don’t see a scenario where I could be ok knowing the neighbor is abusing his dog.
My first order of business would be to talk to the man. Calling the authorities on people feels extreme when there could be extenuating circumstances surrounding what you saw.
If he is beating or torturing his dog then you may want to call your local Animal Services branch. They will for sure get the problem solved for you.
I am getting married in a few months. Currently, I have three roommates, one of them I really dislike. He appears to want to attend the wedding but conversely doesn’t care about me very much nor my fiancée. However, not inviting him results in an awkward situation because we have the same friend group (for now) and by the time I am married we will have lived together for almost a few years (by random assignment). After I’m married I’ll be able allowed to have my own place. Also, we work together and have to see each other semi-regularly even after I move out. Is there a way to avoid inviting this guy?
GEORGE: Weddings are expensive. They are much too expensive to be inviting people you don’t want there. You are incurring food, seating, and alcohol costs for every person’s attendance. I don’t know what you do for a living, but you have multiple roommates. People with multiple roommates typically don’t have a lot of extra disposable income. That’s just another reason to leave homeboy out of the wedding.
The reality is he probably doesn’t want to waste his Saturday at your wedding any more than you want him there.
I would talk to him and let him know straight up that he does not have to go and that your feelings will NOT be hurt. He will likely be hesitant to admit that he doesn’t want to go. As soon as he realizes that there will be no hard feelings, he will be relieved and decline to attend.
Why aren’t I getting matches on Tinder? No matter how many times I swipe on tinder, I don’t get any matches. Why?
GEORGE: Either your profile picture or bio suck! It can’t be because of looks because there is somebody for everybody on Tinder… At least that is what I hear. Change the picture immediately. Make sure it’s not too close up on you. There is nothing more creepy than a profile picture that’s zoomed in too much.
I bet you didn’t have a friend read your bio before you posted it. It probably contains some “red flags”. You can’t tell everybody all the weirdo things you do upfront. They have to see the good parts first so they can overlook the fact that you wash your hands 28 times per day, or that you are a grownup who likes to do Civil War reenactments on the weekends.
The last “dating app/site” I used was Black Planet. That was in college around 2001, but I guarantee things haven’t changed at all. So yes, I’m an expert at this. Lol.