Titanic is a masterpiece. That is an undeniable fact. There are only two sides of this coin. You love Titanic or you hate Titanic. There’s no middle ground. I’ve never heard someone say they “like” Titanic. You’re all in or all out, no grey area. For me, I’m as far in as you can possibly be. To be honest, when I first saw Titanic as a kid, I didn’t care for it. It was long, sad, and dark, but keep in mind, I was seven years old. However, as I grew older and watched the film more and more, I came to appreciate its brilliance. It’s a disaster film of epic proportions from arguably the greatest director of blockbusters, James Cameron. Titanic is full of romance, action, adventure, sadness, and hope. What more could you want in a movie?
April 15 was the 108th anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic. Although tragic, the anniversary made me revisit the film that I have come to love and appreciate. Having seen the dozens of times, I decided to dip my pen and determine the five best and five worst characters in Titanic. Enjoy.
Also, Rose and Jack could NOT have shared the door together. I don’t want to hear your childish take on the matter. However, if you believe Rose should have switched off with Jack every 10 minutes on the door or Jack should have recovered lifejackets off of floating bodies or search for debris to lean on so his legs were out of the water, then I’m ready to listen to your argument.
Five Best Characters In Titanic
5. Tommy Ryan
Tommy Ryan is a first-round selection of people I’d want to hang out with. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with a cheerful Irish lad that loves to pound beers? Tommy is the type of guy who would own season tickets to the Cleveland Browns. He probably drinks way too much at the tailgate and by the time he gets into the stadium, he’s ready to fight the first person that cuts him off in line for the urinals. Unfortunately, Tommy also makes the top five for saddest deaths in the movie.
4. Wallace Hartley And His Fellow Musicians
Gentlemen, it’s been a privilege playing with you tonight. When everyone panicked, Wallace and the boys brought out their violins and provided some sweet, soothing sounds on a ship going to hell. If I was on the Titanic in real life, I’m not sure if I would want “Nearer, My God, to Thee” playing in the background before I freeze in the Atlantic Ocean. That being said, it’s a bittersweet scene in the film.
3. Chief Baker Charles Joughin
When in doubt, get a drink. That’s exactly what Chief Baker Charles Joughin did when things turned to shit. The baker provides a few laughs in the movie because he’s always seen with a flask in his hand, but it turns out, the real Charles Joughin was an absolute legend. Joughin actually survived and if you don’t know his story, I encourage you to read it here. Contrary to popular belief, Joughin did not survive because the alcohol kept his body warm. He survived because he stayed out of the water as long as humanly possible before the sinking. When Titanic finally sank, the alcohol in Joughin’s system gave him the “liquid courage” to tread water for more than 2 hours before finding an overturned lifeboat, which he stayed on before his eventual rescue. Next time you go out to sea, bring a flask.
2. Jack Dawson
Oh, Young Leo. The man needs no introduction. I could list all of the reasons why Jack Dawson is so great, but I have a deadline. Jack was charming, funny, and so damn handsome. He might have been a petty thief, but I wouldn’t mind starting a life in America with Jack. However, if he continued to paint nude women, I’d leave him in a heartbeat.
1. Molly Brown
Do you know those charts that rate if someone’s good or evil?
Molly Brown is one of the few characters to be in the “good” section. She’s the only member of the wealthy class to treat Jack with the respect and dignity he deserves. More importantly, Molly is the only person on her lifeboat to urge the crew to go back for survivors. Frankly, she’s the only rich person that’s likable in the movie! Molly is one, tough S.O.B. and gets my vote for the best character in Titanic.
Five Worst Characters In Titanic
5. Captain Edward John Smith
To quote Lewis Bodine aka the guy with the beard in Brock’s crew, “There’s Smith and he’s standing there and he’s got the iceberg warning in his ****ing hand, excuse me, his hand, and he ordering more speed.” Once the Captain says the ship is speeding up after receiving an iceberg warning, I scream. I understand that Captain Smith was under a lot of pressure from outside forces to reach America as fast as possible strictly for publicity. However, he’s the captain of the ship. When NFL teams lose games, the quarterback always takes the blame. The same can be said about Titanic. Even if it ultimately wasn’t his decision to speed up, I have to pin the majority of the blame on Captain Smith for the sinking ship.
4. Cal Hockley
This fucking guy. Cal is a bad dude, but he’s not as bad as you think. There is a small minority of fans who believe Cal is not the bad guy in Titanic. I agree to an extent. Cal is funding Rose and her mother’s trip to America with first-class tickets. Despite Rose’s brattiness, Cal still loved her. Jack tried to be “Mr. Steal Your Girl” and Cal fought back. I think most guys would do the same. Plus, when Cal ended up on the Carpathia, he went looking for Rose to see if she’s alive. Cal does have a heart, but it doesn’t make up for the fact that he’s the biggest asshole on the ship. He tried to kill Jack multiple times and if he ended up marrying Rose, there’s zero doubt in my mind that Cal would abuse his wife both physically and mentally. However, Cal can’t be the worst character in the film because of the hilarious “I have a child” speech.
3. First Officer William Murdoch
When I first saw Titanic, the scene that gave me nightmares was the death of Tommy Ryan followed by the suicide of First Officer William Murdoch. I will never be able to comprehend what happened on that ship when it was sinking. I picture it would be worse than Judgement Day. I have to cut some slack to the heroic officers aboard Titanic for doing their best to save the most amount of lives. Still, I’ll never be able to forgive Mr. Murdoch for shooting Tommy. It’s something I’ll never forget.
2. Rose DeWitt Bukate aka Young Rose
Where do I begin? If you like Rose more than Jack, square up and after that, get your head checked out. In Rose’s first scene, her entitled and bratty persona shined when she commented on the size of the Titanic and questioned what “all the fuss was about.” Oh, I’m sorry Rose, do you need a bigger ship to hold your thirty suitcases of clothing? From there, it was all downhill for Rose’s likability. Putting Jack’s life in danger by stepping over the railing, cheating on Cal, and jumping off the lifeboat (!!!) to go back onto the Titanic easily makes Rose one of the worst characters in the film.
1. Rose Dawson Calvert aka Old Rose
Let me preface this by saying Old Rose seemed like a delightful lady. Rose loved telling stories, making pots, and spending time with her granddaughter. When Rose shared her riveting tale about Jack Dawson and the Titanic, she had the entire room in the palm of her hand. With all that being said, nothing makes my blood boil more than the scene where Rose threw the Heart of the Ocean into the sea. How selfish can you be? I don’t care how attached you are to the necklace or how much you believe that the diamond belongs to the sea. Rose could have set up her family for generations to come. In the film, the necklace was valued well over $300 million. Why make sure your family never has to worry about money again when you can just throw it all away and leave them with nothing before you pass? If you want to become even angrier, watch the alternate ending.
Who is the best and worst character in Titanic? Leave your thoughts in the comments below or tweet us, @unafraidshow.
(All images are taken from Titanic / Paramount Pictures)
