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My wedding is in 3 weeks. Me and my fiancé have known each other for 2.5yrs. My brother just told me he had sex with my fiancé and she doesn’t know it. I am pissed he didn’t tell me before now, but I am not mad at her at all. Let me explain why. I have an identical twin brother. We often switch on places on dates, especially early on, just for fun and to get a feel for the chick. We have done this for at least 10 years. He went out with her on what would have been our 4th date and they hooked up. She has no idea. My brother said he kept it a secret because we got super serious and this was the first time he had ever seen me in love and didn’t want to ruin it. But he could no longer live with this secret. Do i tell my fiancé and risk my marriage or do i take this to my grave?
It is all fun and games till somebody gets poked in the eye.
I almost cried laughing while reading this. It mad me reflect on my poor decisions as a young man that landed me in dumb ass situations too.
Why didn’t you say who sleep with her first?
You have only one good option in the situation. Tell the truth to your fiancé ASAP. Your brother has already proven to you he can’t keep this a secret. Even if he hasn’t told anyone else already he is one emotional moment away from spilling his guts to your future wife or someone you know. That means it’s coming out sooner or later. If your wife finds out you knew this 3, 7, or 15 years later there might not be enough counseling to save your marriage.
This woman has known you and your brother for 2.5 years. I can tell just from this that you and your bro other occasionally do dumb stuff, so chances are she knows that too. So you probably have a good chance to survive this. If you fall on the sword of youthful stupidity.
I wish you luck, but you might be screwed.
I coach a youth football team of 27 kids ages 11-12. I make the kids focus on hard work and a great attitude. I reward the 3 hardest workers each week with certificates. The kids are so motivated by this and fight for the honor. 25 different kids got the awards during the season. The parents of the two kids who didn’t get hard work certificates wrote a terrible letter about me to the president of the league. They admitted their kids didn’t work hard but they still should received the hard working certificates so they didn’t feel bad about themselves. The president approached me about it before the season ended and demanded I give the kids a certificate despite how hard they word. I refused and told him I would be minimizing the hard work of everyone else and destroying my credibility with the kids. Despite winning the championship for the 2nd straight year and having a waiting list to be on my team I was dismissed from the league. The president said the two kids deserved a certificate so they didn’t feel left out. What is this world coming to?
Bravo my friend. You could coach my kid any day with that kid of character.
Participation trophies are part of what’s wrong with our youth. The idea that little Johnny should get rewarded for a lack of effort or failing makes me want to throw up. What kind of message does that send to kids? Average success and average effort get mediocre results in life. Kids need to understand that early. They need to know you earn what you get and don’t expect no damn handouts.
I did recently coach in a league that gave participation certificates to every kid, small trophies to second place, and large trophies to 1st place. I liked that. All the kids left with something but the best team left with the biggest prize, as it should be.
You my friend are better off without that league and the league is worse off for losing you. If those kids grow up to be losers in life they can thank their parents and the league president for giving them participation trophies.
One of my best friends is the worst tipper of all time. It does not matter how much the meal is, she leaves between $3-5. I always make up for the difference because it’s wrong and I’m embarrassed. This woman is single and makes well over 100k per year. She tries to say she is just frugal. I used to be a waitress and have tried to explain to her the need for tipping and the proper way to tip. We last ate at a $200 meal at a very nice steakhouse. We got separate checks and she left a $4 tip on her card for her $97 meal. Are you kidding me? I like most waitresses made $2.13 per hour plus tips, so naturally this upsets me. We got in a huge argument about it and that was the last straw for me. She keeps inviting me out and trying to hangout but I told her I’m done being embarrassed by her. I will not go anywhere to eat with her until she changes her ways. Where do you stand on this?
Bad tippers are the worst. I’ve not gone many a places with people because of their bad etiquette with dinner. I’m not sure what’s worse, when somebody treats servers like servants or when they skim on paying for food and tips.
You are 100% right here. I would never ever go out to eat with your friend again, but she’s your friend so still hang out with her, just make sure you eat at somebody’s house.
My rookie year in Jacksonville we had the tight end/offensive lineman dinner at Ruth’s Chris. At least once per year the drafted rookies have to take their entire position out to eat. The TE’s and OL did it together in Jacksonville. There were about 20 of us. The veteran players always try and run up the bill on the rookies. To make a long story short (I’ll share the full version on the Podcast) the bill was $4,300. Yes that’s correct. 20 people had $4,300 worth of food and drinks within two hours. I left an $800 tip. It was the right thing to do, so I did it.
If you can’t afford the tip or are unwilling to pay it, find a new restaurant.
I am a single dad. I had my son when I was 16 and have had him full time since I was 21. He is now 17 years old. We have a very open and honest relationship. This dude tells me he wants to try smoking weed and drinking. He said he’s nervous about it and didn’t want to sneak around so he wanted to do it with me. I told him “I appreciate his honesty but hell no. I am your dad and we are friends, but I’m not your buddy to cosign anything”. He told me I was whack for that and he could just do it behind my back, but didn’t want to. I have heard stories about parents doing this sort of thing with their kids, but I’m not with that. If he wants to make the decision to do those things when he’s of legal age that’s his choice, but until then it’s a no for me. He said he would wait. Do you think he is going to try and do it anyway? Should I rein in the leash on him some and keep him “busy” to make sure he’s not doing those things?
I applaud the young man’s honesty and audacity. However, you would be a horrible dad if you just start partying with your kid. I just recently saw an example of that on “Nature Boy”. That is the ESPN 30-for-30 on Ric Flair. Ric started letting his young son Reid come on the road with him drinking and doing drugs. They were “buddies” and friends who partied together. Flair’s son ended up dying from an overdose.
I don’t want to put that fate on your son, but I believe you run the risk of more bad things happening when you start treating kids more like friends and equals. If your son has no authority figure to be accountable to then he is more likely to justify poor behavior. He will say “my dad knows, it’s fine” instead of saying “I don’t know if I should do this, what if my dad finds out’”.
I would definitely rein my son in tight. It is clear he needs new friends. The friends he is hanging out have too much free time and are under supervised. Those kids are headed for some bad things happening. When teens start smoking weed and drinking, that means some of them will be driving. We know how that story can end.
I want the best for my kids and it sounds like you do to. Get your kid extremely busy trying to achieve something and do something out in the world. If he has a mission, he doesn’t have time to be screwing around, and he will meet a new peer group that is headed down a more positive path.
That doesn’t mean he will never drink, smoke weed, or make poor choices. He will just be far less likely for those things to go down a path of addiction, jail, or death.
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