Unafraid Show Anonymous Emails #10

It’s Wednesday and the best ever Unafraid Anonymous Emails are here. This is a time where you all can send in all your questions and comments without fear of anyone knowing who you are. Anonymity is guaranteed!

Send all your anonymous email questions to unafraidshow@gmail.com. And I will answer them.

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On to the emails:

My friend’s older sister is pretty chill and her bedroom is at the top of their stairs. My friend has even told me that he has seen his sister naked sometimes because she changes with the door open. We were hanging out at his house and he had to use the bathroom. He went to the downstairs one but I had to go too, so I went upstairs. His stairs turn halfway up, so there’s a corner. I turn the corner and I look up. Her bedroom door is open and she is standing inside, completely naked. Her hair was wet so she must’ve just gotten out of the shower. I quickly turned away and went back downstairs before she noticed but I still saw everything. I’ve known my friend since kindergarten, and I don’t want this to be weird now. What should I do?

You boy’s sister is clearly an exhibitionist. If you saw her naked, it’s because she wanted you to see her naked.

If this is my friend, I’m absolutely telling him. This shouldn’t even be an issue with your friend being mad because he already told you what the deal was. I’m an overprotective guy with my sisters and daughters. So, if they were doing something like running around naked with company around I’m putting that to a stop.

I was notorious for making my sisters or daughter change clothes if I thought the outfit was too short, tight, etc. I can’t wait for somebody to say I’m wrong for “shaming” them, but I don’t care. My family. I make the rules.

Now, since you have seen your friend’s sister’s goodies you can’t be trying to get your friend’s sister’s cookies. I’m letting you know up front if you start looking at his sister like a snack you and your boy are going to have some problems.

 

I’m a 25 guy and my 23 girlfriend wants to go naked with some female friends on a nudist beach; Is this a red flag?

She did ask me if I wanted to join, but it’s not something I’m comfortable doing. However, I feel like this is something you just don’t do when you’re in a relationship. She said she’s there to hang out with her friends and avoid any men that might hit on her (at least she has the insight to know this will happen), and I have no reason to think she’ll cheat. But I dunno. I can’t quite pinpoint why, but this feels very wrong.

This is absolutely NOT a red flag.

I’d bet at least 1-2 of her friends either have really nice bodies or bad bodies. The reason you did not get an invite is because your girlfriend doesn’t want you looking at her friends butt naked; either because they look good, or because they don’t and she doesn’t want to embarrass her friends. Either way, there’s no room for you! It’s literally that simple.

It’s clear what the core reason is she want to go to the nude beach what. Your girl probably has some exhibitionist tendencies and wants to walk around in her birthday suit not surrounded by people she knows. If I were you, I’d be asking questions about her exhibitionist desires, so you can make sure she’s satisfied. And you might get some fun out of it too.

It feels wrong to you because you wanted an invite. It sounds like you have never been to a nude beach and want to know what’s going on at the nude beach.

I’ve been to a nude beach, and most of the visuals at the nude beach you would much rather forget than remember.

 

We live in a well to do neighborhood. Known this neighbor and neighbor’s family for over 10 years. Not super well, but our families are friendly toward each other. Their family is college-educated, has a stable income and live comfortably. There was a period about several years ago when our family had to be out of town for months at a time to care for an ill family member. We asked this neighbor to keep an eye on the house. Everything went well, the house was looked after and nothing went missing. While we were away the neighbor messaged saying they are holding an event at their house, could they use one of our religious statues/sculpture for decoration. We agreed. When we returned we asked for the statue back. The neighbor said they like it so much they’d like to borrow it. We thought it was a little odd but we said that is fine. Our thinking was that the neighbor had been kind to us by watching over the house for several months.

A year or so later, we did a big reorganization/redecoration and figured it was time to get the sculpture back to its original location. Our polite request to the neighbor was answered initially with ” yes yes I will return it”. Over the succeeding months, the answer became more of something along the lines of “the sculpture fits so well with my home and ambiance that I cannot part with it. It has become very important to me.” We told the neighbor repeatedly that the statue is of important religious value to us. Again the neighbor agreed to return the item but never followed through.

We have always been courteous to the neighbor. We even offered to buy them a replacement statue; it was refused!

Now, the statue itself is not worth a tremendous amount –perhaps a few hundred $ at most. It is valuable to our family due to our personal connection with it over the generations.

We reached out to the local police who said they cannot help unless we formally allege a crime. Were we to do this, we do not know if/what sort of retaliation there may be. Through our interaction with this neighbor, we believe there is a strong possibility that this neighbor may have a mental health condition of some sort.

We believe our statue remains in the neighbor’s house although we have not seen it. Over the years the neighbor has purchased similar statues to decorate their property.

Any advice on how our family might move toward in retrieving this item? Thank you.

This is hilarious. They hit you with the line from the movie FRIDAY, “It’s like both of ours, we will just keep it at my house”. You really only have two choices in this situation. Just chalk it up as a loss, or escalate the situation. The problem with chalking it up as a loss is that every time you see your neighbor, you will secretly have anger and resentment over just stealing something that belonged to you. The resentment will change your relationship with them, so you might as well escalate the situation.

In all likelihood, this can all be resolved with a serious conversation. You can’t approach them (as my father would say) “pussyfooting around”. They need to know you mean business. Your neighbors clearly think this is no big deal to just assume ownership over something you let them borrow. If that doesn’t work it’s time to call Judge Judy. I’d love to see her berate your neighbors.

Ironically, they will be mad at you for escalating things. Isn’t it interesting how people love to do messed up stuff, get mad when you don’t just accept it. But, oh well, they should have returned your stuff.

 

I really don’t know what to do. I’ve had a friend for 3 years. My girlfriend doesn’t like him much because he’s a tool. I have been distancing myself from him for the same reason. But he reached out to me because he was going through a tough time with his grandmother dying. I knew he would do the same for me if I reached out to him. So I talked to my girlfriend and asked her if she would be ok if I went to his grandma’s funeral. She said, “do whatever you want that’s fine.” At that point, I knew she didn’t want me to go. I figured it’s only 1 day how bad could it be. Well now she won’t reply to me. She’s leaving my texts on “read” and won’t reply. She is clearly upset. I have no idea how to fix this, she’s very passive-aggressive. Should I confront her and tell her how I feel or will that just backfire on me? Should I leave it until I see her in person tomorrow to talk to her about it? I just feel horrible because I made her upset with me.

You are at a crossroads my friend. If you make the wrong moves here, I feel sorry for your future. We all train people how to treat us, and how you respond to this will have a lasting impact on your relationship. If you just beg and plead until she decides she has punished you enough, guess what will happen next time you make a decision she doesn’t agree with.

You have done all that you can do in the situation. Your friend’s grandmother died and you were gone for a day. She’s gonna have to get over it. If you continue to grovel like you are in the wrong, her passive-aggressive behavior will only escalate. I have been in a relationship with an emotional terrorist. At the time I thought it was all her, but now I realize, I fed the beast.

It’s not like you missed her graduation or went with an ex-girlfriend. I hope you didn’t do that. If you did disregard all this advice, beg her back, buy a nice gift, and don’t do dumb shit.

 

Is having sex with a very drunk *conscious* woman while you’re sober considered rape? If not then is it immoral in any way?

You know the answer to this question! If you think something is a bad or sketchy idea, don’t do it!

What planet are you living on? This is a horrendous idea, even if you had her sign a waiver. Real talk, if she really wanted to have sex with you, she will still be down in the morning or at a later date. You can’t be so thirsty for sex that you find yourself in a twist.

Unafraid Anonymous Emails #9

It’s Wednesday and the best ever #Unafraid Anonymous Emails are here. This is a time where you all can send in all your questions and comments without fear. Anonymity is guaranteed!

Send all your anonymous email questions to unafraidshow@gmail.com. And I will answer them. 
Make sure to share this post so everyone can enjoy!
Follow #UnafraidShow live daily on Periscope, YouTube, or Facebook for alerts!
 
On to the emails:
The level of my social skills is very low. I want to date more but I think I sent off the wrong messages. I’m sure a guy from my building has a crush on me but I don’t think he wants to make any more moves because he’s afraid I’ll reject him. I see him every day when we are out walking our dogs. It’s 2017, as women, I guess I should be okay with asking him out myself, but I think a man should ask a woman out. What can I do to get his attention w/o looking desperate or thirsty? I thought I was dropping hints when I always ask him a question when I see him.
GEORGE: There are a couple of things that could be happening in your situation.
You are not sending the “come get me you man you” messages you are wanting to. Or he’s like most men who just miss some of the signs and signals women try and throw up.
For most of my life, I believed that the man, “got the woman”. He some kind of way through his looks, charm, persistence, or infinite wisdom got a woman’s affection. Yea well, Danisha opened my eyes to the secret lives of women. They regularly and intentionally do things to get a man’s attention that we men believe is just an “organic” interaction. I’m not talking about the obvious stuff like bending over or asking for help with something she clearly knows how to do. I’m talking about sending flowers to herself on Valentine’s Day so men see it and feel some kind of way type stuff.
He could just be a guy who is not confident in his abilities to talk to you.
The moral of the story is: be proactive. Ask him to go to coffee or for a smoothie. That is innocent enough that you don’t look thirsty, but forward enough to give him a little confidence boost.
My boyfriend posts naked pictures of himself online. Am I wrong for wanting it to stop? His justification for it has always been it helps him express himself and embrace his sexuality. To me when he gets hundreds of comments from both men and women telling him what they’d like to do to him- that feels almost like cheating to me. Am I just acting like a crazy jealous girlfriend? Or do I like have a place to ask him to stop? (we’ve been dating for 2 years so this is not a like a new thing)
GEORGE: You cannot ask that man to stop posting naked pictures of him online. He has been doing this for 2 years that you know of. If you get off on posting naked pictures online, who knows how many women have screenshots of this dude.
The reality is your boyfriend has no plans on doing anything great out in the world. His choices have made it so he can’t do anything notable or accomplished in almost any profession. This naked flixx are bound to come out an sabotage his career.
Your best bet is to get a new boyfriend, get with the program and expect nothing great out of him, or wait it out and hope he wants to change and seek therapy.
So there’s this neighbor that lives next to us that I’m almost certain abuses his dog. I’d hear him yell at the dog all the time, the dogs always slouched and looks weak, and one time when I and a few friends were walking and the dog was in our way, the owner grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out of the way. I have no clue man, either this is paranoia. But who should I contact about this?
GEORGE: I don’t like nosey neighbors. I am typically a mind your own house, don’t worry about mine kind of person, but I don’t see a scenario where I could be ok knowing the neighbor is abusing his dog.
My first order of business would be to talk to the man. Calling the authorities on people feels extreme when there could be extenuating circumstances surrounding what you saw.
If he is beating or torturing his dog then you may want to call your local Animal Services branch. They will for sure get the problem solved for you.
I am getting married in a few months. Currently, I have three roommates, one of them I really dislike. He appears to want to attend the wedding but conversely doesn’t care about me very much nor my fiancée. However, not inviting him results in an awkward situation because we have the same friend group (for now) and by the time I am married we will have lived together for almost a few years (by random assignment). After I’m married I’ll be able allowed to have my own place. Also, we work together and have to see each other semi-regularly even after I move out. Is there a way to avoid inviting this guy?
GEORGE: Weddings are expensive. They are much too expensive to be inviting people you don’t want there. You are incurring food, seating, and alcohol costs for every person’s attendance. I don’t know what you do for a living, but you have multiple roommates. People with multiple roommates typically don’t have a lot of extra disposable income. That’s just another reason to leave homeboy out of the wedding.
The reality is he probably doesn’t want to waste his Saturday at your wedding any more than you want him there.
I would talk to him and let him know straight up that he does not have to go and that your feelings will NOT be hurt. He will likely be hesitant to admit that he doesn’t want to go. As soon as he realizes that there will be no hard feelings, he will be relieved and decline to attend.
Why aren’t I getting matches on Tinder? No matter how many times I swipe on tinder, I don’t get any matches. Why?
GEORGE: Either your profile picture or bio suck! It can’t be because of looks because there is somebody for everybody on Tinder… At least that is what I hear. Change the picture immediately. Make sure it’s not too close up on you. There is nothing more creepy than a profile picture that’s zoomed in too much.
I bet you didn’t have a friend read your bio before you posted it. It probably contains some “red flags”. You can’t tell everybody all the weirdo things you do upfront. They have to see the good parts first so they can overlook the fact that you wash your hands 28 times per day, or that you are a grownup who likes to do Civil War reenactments on the weekends.
The last “dating app/site” I used was Black Planet. That was in college around 2001, but I guarantee things haven’t changed at all. So yes, I’m an expert at this. Lol.

Unafraid Anonymous Emails #8: Virgins, Weedheads, Jail, Cheating

 

It’s Wednesday and the best ever #Unafraid Anonymous Emails are here. This is a time where you all can send in all your questions and comments without fear. Anonymity is guaranteed!

Send all your anonymous email questions to unafraidshow@gmail.com. And Iwewill answer them. 

 
You guys have been enjoying #TheWifevsTheExpert, so I brought it to the Anonymous Emails. If you don’t know, it’s when DanishaDanielle (my wife) picks college football games against me The Expert against the spread. I give the best advice but she will tell you the “right thing”.
 
Make sure to share this post so everyone can enjoy!
 
Follow #UnafraidShow live daily on Periscope, YouTube, or Facebook for alerts!
On to the emails:
 
I’m a 21 year old virgin. I met this girl on tinder about a week ago, we’ve been talking and sending pics on snapchat, I asked if she wanted to hang out and watch a movie sometime she said yeah and asked if I was free Saturday night. I invited her to go out and she asked me to come over. She would cook and we would watch a movie. At the end of the conversation, she told me to bring a condom. Got any advice?
GEORGE: Just realize what you are getting yourself into. If you don’t want to have sex don’t go. She already let you know what the deal is. If you go over there you are going to have sex with her. You probably think you will hangout, and have a good time without having sex with her, WRONG. She already has her mind made up.
If you don’t want to have sex, GET OFF TINDER. From my understanding, it is a “hookup site”.
 
I’d say stay a virgin till you get married. It is a good idea and ensures you won’t make poor dating decisions because the “cookie” is sweet.
DANISHA: My first advice would be… STAY A VIRGIN! It will keep you focused on everything in your future and help you make better dating decisions. I love the message in “The Wait” with Devon Franklin. If you are considering whether or not to have sex, I think you will get a lot of solid advice on how to make that decision. Secondly, I’d have to recommend different dating environments. If you want to remain a virgin, you have to avoid the “Netflix and Chill” type dates and drinking alcohol. That’s a recipe for sex. If the girl you are dating insists upon having sex, she may not be a match for you and that’s ok. There are plenty of fish in the sea and LOTS of women who will appreciate a man who is not focused on sex.
My fiancé made a stupid mistake and was sentenced to 50 days in jail. It starts in three weeks. Honestly, she is NOT the “Tough hard-ass” type.
What are some tips on “surviving” county jail. Obviously, she feels terrible about what she did. She regrets her mistake. I don’t know how to help her because she is extremely scared and very emotional. I just think it would be good to know some tips on making it easier. HELP. I’m doing my best to be there for her in this situation, but I don’t know. I want to give her a heads up on what’s coming in the next couple weeks.
GEORGE: My advice would be “don’t do anything that would require you to go to jail”, however, you don’t always have to do anything wrong to go to jail. I did once spent 12 hours in jail for something I didn’t do. Which was absolutely ridiculous being that I was in the bed sleep, but whatever.
 
If I were overly sensitive I would think this was racist. Ask the black man how to handle jail. How the hell am I supposed to know the answer to this question? I have no experience in the county jail.
The reality is that it’s county jail for 50 days. She likely won’t serve the entire time because prisons are overcrowded. The reality is nothing likely will happen to her that she can’t recover from.
 
DANISHA: Ummmm… I have no clue.  Watch LockUp? Ask a friend who has gone to jail or know somebody currently in County? Try again for probation and/or community service? Pray!??!
Some of my closest friends smoke weed frequently and I don’t so it makes it harder to hang out and find a middle ground. Can I have advice on doing this and overall not giving in to peer pressure when I’m one of the only people I know out of my friends sober?
GEORGE: Find new friends. Nobody wants to hang out with people when they are the only sober person. Also, nobody who is not sober wants to regularly hangout with people who are faded. It’s not fun for either party unless they are using you as the designated driver.
It is always good to be around like-minded people who have the same goals and aspirations as you. You clearly are not at this time. Do better.
DANISHA: I’ve never been into smoking weed and I’ve always been very clear about that with friends who do.  Honestly, I really don’t even like to be around the smoke so I removed myself from those situations. If they are truly your friends, they should be supportive and respectful of your decision to NOT smoke weed. If they are smoking weed all of the time, you should be wary of spending too much time with them. Whether you want to be or not, you will likely be influenced to change your principles.
The holidays are coming up. I’m trying to figure out what to get my wife of 2 years. She is super practical, and not materialistic at all. She is a workout nut and runs 5-10 miles every day. Her knees have started to hurt from running on the asphalt. She has said she wants a treadmill. My initial thought is to get her what she asked for. However, all I can think about is how mad my mom was when my dad got her the microwave she asked for when I was younger. What to do?
 
GEORGE: I wish women would just say what they want for gifts instead of us needing a decoder ring to figure it out. If you say you want a treadmill and the man gets you a treadmill, don’t be upset about it. You want open and honest communication. Communicate.
Now, here is the real world advice. Get your wife some jewelry, spa days, or take her on a trip. You can never go wrong with those. Also, make her a card with a build-a –card kit from Michael’s.
And if you know she really wants the treadmill, then get it for her, and get her one of the other gifts as well. There is no way you can end up in the dog house.
DANISHA: A treadmill isn’t exactly sexy. My college ex-boyfriend bought me an Ab Roller for my birthday after I told him I wanted to get in shape. I didn’t talk to him for two days. How RUDE can you be?!  LOL! Anyhoo… I would recommend getting her a gift that shows her that you LOVE her. If you’re a little unsure how she feels loved, ask her to take “The 5 Love Languages” test. If Quality Time is her highest love language, plan a special outing together. If it’s Words of Affirmation, you can write her a special letter and frame it. You get the picture… There’s nothing wrong with getting her more than one gift by the way… J. You can do them all!
Would you rather have LaVar Ball or Kris Jenner for a parent?
George: Why do I have to choose? Wouldn’t a Ball/Jenner marriage produce a star?
 
In all seriousness, the answer is obvious. I’d choose Kris Jenner. She has done this whole “creating a star” thing successfully 5 times already. KJ already knows the blueprint and doesn’t step on media landmines. LaVar is still learning the ropes and doesn’t have the proven track record of success that Kris has. Ask me this question again in 5 years and I might have a different answer.
 
LaVar has a huge mountain to climb to prove everybody wrong after sending LiAngelo and LaMelo to Lithuania to play pro ball.
DanishaDanielle: Yikes. I’m not a fan of helicopter parenting and both seem to be overbearing but at least LaVar Ball is the slightly better option. Actually… on second thought… I’d hate to be raised by a parent who put basketball above character and didn’t believe in consequences. I’d have to be emancipated.
My sister is a beautiful girl and was a hot chick until about 2 years ago when she had a bad break up with her fiancé. She let herself go. Now she’s fat and out of shape. I didn’t really mention it at first because I knew she was going through a rough time. Now how do I tell her she needs to work out without hurting her feelings?
George: There’s no easy way to do this! Just rip the Band-Aid off. Hold on, let me back up for a second. Everybody’s idea of fat is different. If we talking about 10-15 pounds, just shut up and let her figure it out herself. But if you feel like she is headed down a slippery slope, just invite her to workout or do something active with you. If we are talking 30-50+ pounds, you have to bring it up. You have given it enough time. Don’t come at her and say, “Hey sis, you are a fat as hell right now, go workout”.
 
If she got big after her breakup, she was clearly having some emotional problems. However, I would definitely be direct but sensitive. You are talking to a woman so she will respond better if she knows this is coming from a place of love instead of vanity. She knows she’s big, but she may not realize how big she is. I would want someone to be direct with me. You are a good brother that is concerned about your sister’s health.
 
Before you have this conversation, you better assess your own physical conditioning. If you are big yourself, I’d change my tune and tell her you want to be workout buddies and accountability partners.
DanishaDanielle: I think that making sure that she has gotten through the rough time should be a more primary concern than her weight. If the weight bothers you, it already bothers her. I think the most important thing is to talk to her about her about how she’s feeling nowadays. When you feel good about yourself, you take better care of yourself. She may have made some lifestyle changes (not working out anymore, diet, drinking, etc.) that have impacted her weight. Depending on how old she is, her age may also have finally caught up with her and her metabolism has changed so she may need to do things differently than when she was younger. It’s not always easy or realistic to be someone’s workout buddy but when you hang out with her, invite her to do something active (hike, beach bike ride, Either way, be a source of encouragement for her instead of a source of criticism.
I have been dating two women. Technically they are both my serious, exclusive girlfriend. Both live out of state. One of them, I’ll call Lady V. I’ve known for years and is extremely close to my family. They live about 15min away from each other. The other one, Lady M used to live in the same city as me and but she moved about 2000 miles away. Most of her friends are still somewhat in my social circle.  I just got a huge job opportunity and I am accepting it. I mean like the chance of a lifetime. Of course, I am excited and accepting it.
My friends and family decided to throw me a last minute party in 1 week. My family says they are coming up and so is Lady V. Ok. No problem. I figured I wouldn’t tell Lady M about it until the day of and say it’s a surprise. However, Lady M tells me today, two days before the party, “SURPRISE she’s coming”. Her friends told her. I can’t disinvite either one to the party. The party is going to be about 200-300 of our people there at a club plus the regular club goers.
What do I do?
GEORGE: You are up shits creek without a paddle. I would love to throw you a life raft, but I you are on your own.
When I had a similar situation happen to me in college I didn’t tell either one. However, the girl who came in from out of town got wind something was up when she came to my game and another girl was sitting with my family. That night I had a party and the out of town girlfriend showed up and ignored me the entire night and flirted with other guys. I was pissed but had to be quiet and take it. The girl who came up with my family was none the wiser. The other girl didn’t speak to me for months and I had to grovel.
At the end of the day, the entire thing blew up in my face because I lost both of their respect. This was a bad move all the way around. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t have two girlfriends.
DanishaDanielle: You are totally out of pocket. The only way out of this is, to TELL THE TRUTH and stop being a douchebag.  Do it before the party so you don’t embarrass yourself and both of these women in front of your family and friends. This party is a call to you to get your life in order.
I am a poor college student. I am burning the candle at both ends taking 18 units and working full time. I need more money to live. It’s like I can never get ahead. Something always comes up as soon as I have a little extra money. My car breaks down, computer crashes, or rent goes up. I’m literally depending on Ramen and invites to friends apartments for meals. I have started donating blood like people do in the movies. Now I’m considering donating sperm at the sperm bank. I can make at least $500 per month. Am I a deadbeat dad for this?
GEORGE: This all depends on your conscience and ability to sleep at night. I personally don’t think I would be ok knowing I had kids out there and I wasn’t a part of their life. I know there are a lot of families that need fertility help. That just wouldn’t be my choice.
When I was single I did consider “studding”. I read a few articles about me who are physically built well and very intelligent can fetch up to 100k per kid. I have produced three highly intelligent, good-looking, physical studs. I know I could fetch a pretty penny for my high-quality DNA.
There is also the possibility that you could have 200 kids come out of the woodworks wanting to know their dad like Vince Vaughn in “Delivery Man”. Seriously, since Ancestry.com came out at least 3 family members have found me.

 

DanishaDanielle: This sounds like a page out of my college life… without the whole donating sperm part. You’re definitely not a deadbeat dad for donating sperm. You can choose to look at it like you are assisting parents conceive children that would otherwise not be able to. However, if it makes you uncomfortable to have children with your biological DNA out in the world, I would definitely stick to your principles and find other ways to make money. Uber and Lyft are great options for college students. There should also be plenty of on-campus jobs available that won’t pay quite as well but will be convenient and flexible.

#UnafraidShow Anonymous Emails #7

It’s Wednesday and the best ever #Unafraid Anonymous Emails are here. This is a time where you all can send in all your questions and comments without fear. Anonymity is guaranteed!


Send all your anonymous email questions to unafraidshow@gmail.com. And I will answer them. 


Little twist this week. You guys have been enjoying #TheWifevsTheExpert. If you don’t know, it’s when DanishaDanielle (my wife) picks college football games against me The Expert against the spread. This week I decided to let her weigh in on the Anonymous emails. I give the best advice but she will tell you the “right thing”.

Make sure to share this post so everyone can enjoy!

Follow #UnafraidShow live daily on Periscope, YouTube, or Facebook for alerts!
On to the emails:
6 moths ago my brother and I bought 4 Hamilton tickets in Los Angeles. The intention was a date night with our wives. I put them on my credit card. They were going to pay me for them later. No big deal, he’s always good for it. About 3 months ago my brother finds out his wife of 5 years had been cheating on him with his boss. He promptly filed for divorce. Naturally, I’m pissed off at her. She’s begging him back and all that but he’s not having any of it. He’s proceeding with the divorce. The newest thing is that she still wants to go to Hamilton because the tickets are impossible to get (except inflated resale) and she was supposed to go. I told my brother don’t pay me for the tickets because it’s a gift, he’s going through a rough time. Now she wants to pay me for her ticket so she can go. My brother said it was up to me since I bought them. I really hate her ass for hurting my brother. My wife is unsure. Do I let her go or banish her with the lepers?
GEORGE: This is a tough choice for you. You can sell that one Hamilton ticket and pay for the whole night, or you can give it to the cheater and have to be around her all night.
Your brother knows whether he wants her to go or not. There is no way I would let my brother put this on me, so I could then be blamed later for it. He would have to make this decision. Since he’s strong enough to file for divorce, I’d assume he’s strong enough to weigh in with an actual opinion.
It sounds like your brother is basing his decision on how you feel. Otherwise he would have just said no. Your brother either feels so obligated to take her, or wants to reconcile with her. He’s thinking, “My bro just gave me expensive and hard to come by Hamilton tickets, and I know they what my wife did and do want to be around her so I’ll let him make the choice”. Don’t let it happen.
I get that you hate her for hurting your brother, but it’s not your life. You have to let him know that whatever decision he makes is ok and completely up to him. I read up to answer this question. Depending on what you read, 45-60% of people who have infidelity in their marriage get back together. And in cases of divorce, about 33% of couples get back together when the woman wants to reconcile.
The other option is to ask her to pay for the ticket if he allows her to go. At least you can feel better about your night knowing you didn’t have to fork over the cash for somebody you can’t stand right now.
If your brother and her get back together and she’s good to him, your feelings will change long term.
DanishaDanielle: As much as your guys planned a fantastic date night for all four of you, it will probably be pretty awkward and tension filled. Affairs are destructive not only to the marriage itself but also the relationships around the marriage. You have every right to be angry at your sister-in-law’s behavior, but what your brother needs right now is your support in his marriage…or in his divorce. Your sister in law probably wants to go to have a chance to reunite and have a fun night like you all used to. Your sister-in-law has a lot of making up to do if they even have a chance of working things out. Ultimately it is your brother’s decision and he needs your support no matter what. 
This is a tough time for all of you. I’m sorry you are going through this. We will pray for your family.
After seeing that both Michael Crabtree and Aqib Talib were both suspended two games for fighting I was so pissed. This same thing happened to my son in 10th grade. A jealous kid who is a known bully slapped him in the back of the head and ripped off his gold chain. My son punched him in the face and proceeded to beat him up. Guess who got suspended? My kid. The administrators said he should have walked away after getting slapped and getting his chain snatched. This kid is just like Talib who has been in trouble numerous times. I don’t get it. I told my son if he does it again beat his ass again. What else was I supposed to tell my son?

GEORGE: I know my answer is going to be extremely unpopular amongst school administrators.
Let’s be real about this. We all teach our kids to walk away from situations, and tell the teacher etc. But there are some times that you have to stand up for yourself in life. Some people do not respect restraining orders and peaceful resolutions.
What I have learned in the world is that if you let one person get away with invading your personal space or disrespecting you others will follow suit. Some people don’t even do it maliciously; they just see that other people did it to you so it clearly is not a big deal if they do it to you.
My son wears a gold chain, if some kid purposely snatches his chain to disrespect him, he better do something to make sure it is abundantly clear to that kid and everyone else that trying to take his chain is a horrible idea. If he does not, he’s got to see dad.
The fact that the administrators suspended your son is awful. The NFL suspending Crabtree at all or even for the same length of time, as Talib is awful. You have a person who has had multiple incidents and suspensions punished the same way as a first time offender.
I find it laughable when people are repeatedly expected to respond civilly after someone has shown they won’t respond to civility.  The administrators at your school are awful.
DanishaDanielle: No. You are absolutely right. Enough said. I, too  don’t think Crabtree should have been ejected, suspended, or fined AT ALL. Every person has the right to not have his or her body  and personal belongings violated. If your son were willing to stand up for himself and fight back, I would absolutely encourage him to do so. He should never start a fight but he can absolutely finish it in my book.
If your son is not willing to stand up for himself I would do whatever other measures are necessary to escalate things- authorities at the school, police, and even a civil suit if necessary. That’s if I can do so before my husband showed up to “talk” to this kid.😉
The guy I’m dating just got a dog. He got a Yorkshire Terrier. This turned me off. A man is not supposed to get a little bitty dog. I can just envision him carrying it around instead of letting it walk. I like big dogs and manly men. He’s a good dude, but I think a man that like small dogs might be gay. Am I wrong for this?
GEORGE: Just because a man owns a small dog doesn’t make him gay. However, a man that carries a small dog might be gay. I must admit that whenever I see guys with small dogs the thought does cross my mind. There is no reason for dogs that are not injured to be carried.
I’m not a small dog fan, for the exact reason you said. It does not feel very masculine. It’s like driving a Mini Cooper instead of a Ferrari. In all transparency, I am in a two-dog family. ShiTzu (12lbs) and Portuguese Water Dog (35 lbs). We needed hypoallergenic dogs (don’t @ me about dogs not being hypoallergenic. They work for my family) and large breeds don’t have too many options. I have grown to like the ShiTzu, however, when my daughter leaves the house for college, she will be taking the dog ASAP and we can replace him with a real dog!
DanishaDanielle: Dead ass wrong. Please do not listen to my husband. A man who likes small dogs is not gay. I man who has sex with other men is gay. If he’s a good man let him be himself and enjoy what he likes.
I love football season. I get to watch football and nobody bothers me. I’m growing sad because college football season is winding down. I will only have Sunday’s to watch NFL football. As soon as football is over my wife whom I love will be asking me to do all sorts of things I hate. She likes to go to farmer’s markets and art classes with me. I HATE it but I pretend to like it because she is cool during football season. My question is how do I keep my weekends free when football season is over without pissing my wife off? Or how can I tell her I hate the things I’ve pretended to like for years?
GEORGE: You are 100% screwed. You are living the good life bro. Don’t make waves. Be thankful your wife leaves you alone during football season. You have to suck it up the other 7.5 months per year. If you fuss about doing the stuff you hate or refuse to do it, next football season is going to be hell!
Your wife sounds like the artsy creative type. I would suggest finding something arty and creative that you don’t mind doing and show up bright eyed and bushy tailed! You might like it, and also when you don’t feel like doing it, remember it will all be worth it come mid August!
DanishaDanielle: You and my husband are cut from the same cloth. I love football too, but he could watch it for a year straight and enjoy every single second of it. I think all things are best when taken in moderation. I also think its good to be open to new things and have a spirit of compromise within your marriage.

As much as spending quality time together with your wife is important, it’s also important to to maintain your identity and keep your own hobbies. Taking an interest in your wife’s interests will help maintain your marriage but maintaining your own interests will help maintain your sanity. Best of luck to you both. We are all trying to figure this marriage thing out.

#UNAFRAID ANONYMOUS EMAILS #6

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My wedding is in 3 weeks. Me and my fiancé have known each other for 2.5yrs. My brother just told me he had sex with my fiancé and she doesn’t know it. I am pissed he didn’t tell me before now, but I am not mad at her at all. Let me explain why. I have an identical twin brother. We often switch on places on dates, especially early on, just for fun and to get a feel for the chick. We have done this for at least 10 years.  He went out with her on what would have been our 4th date and they hooked up. She has no idea. My brother said he kept it a secret because we got super serious and this was the first time he had ever seen me in love and didn’t want to ruin it. But he could no longer live with this secret. Do i tell my fiancé and risk my marriage or do i take this to my grave?
It is all fun and games till somebody gets poked in the eye.
I almost cried laughing while reading this. It mad me reflect on my poor decisions as a young man that landed me in dumb ass situations too.
Why didn’t you say who sleep with her first?
You have only one good option in the situation. Tell the truth to your fiancé ASAP. Your brother has already proven to you he can’t keep this a secret. Even if he hasn’t told anyone else already he is one emotional moment away from spilling his guts to your future wife or someone you know. That means it’s coming out sooner or later. If your wife finds out you knew this 3, 7, or 15 years later there might not be enough counseling to save your marriage.
This woman has known you and your brother for 2.5 years. I can tell just from this that you and your bro other occasionally do dumb stuff, so chances are she knows that too. So you probably have a good chance to survive this. If you fall on the sword of youthful stupidity.
I wish you luck, but you might be screwed.
I coach a youth football team of 27 kids ages 11-12. I make the kids focus on hard work and a great attitude. I reward the 3 hardest workers each week with certificates. The kids are so motivated by this and fight for the honor. 25 different kids got the awards during the season. The parents of the two kids who didn’t get hard work certificates wrote a terrible letter about me to the president of the league. They admitted their kids didn’t work hard but they still should received the hard working certificates so they didn’t feel bad about themselves. The president approached me about it before the season ended and demanded I give the kids a certificate despite how hard they word. I refused and told him I would be minimizing the hard work of everyone else and destroying my credibility with the kids. Despite winning the championship for the 2nd straight year and having a waiting list to be on my team I was dismissed from the league. The president said the two kids deserved a certificate so they didn’t feel left out. What is this world coming to?
Bravo my friend. You could coach my kid any day with that kid of character.
Participation trophies are part of what’s wrong with our youth. The idea that little Johnny should get rewarded for a lack of effort or failing makes me want to throw up. What kind of message does that send to kids? Average success and average effort get mediocre results in life. Kids need to understand that early. They need to know you earn what you get and don’t expect no damn handouts.
I did recently coach in a league that gave participation certificates to every kid, small trophies to second place, and large trophies to 1st place. I liked that. All the kids left with something but the best team left with the biggest prize, as it should be.
You my friend are better off without that league and the league is worse off for losing you. If those kids grow up to be losers in life they can thank their parents and the league president for giving them participation trophies.
One of my best friends is the worst tipper of all time. It does not matter how much the meal is, she leaves between $3-5. I always make up for the difference because it’s wrong and I’m embarrassed. This woman is single and makes well over 100k per year. She tries to say she is just frugal. I used to be a waitress and have tried to explain to her the need for tipping and the proper way to tip. We last ate at a $200 meal at a very nice steakhouse. We got separate checks and she left a $4 tip on her card for her $97 meal. Are you kidding me? I like most waitresses made $2.13 per hour plus tips, so naturally this upsets me. We got in a huge argument about it and that was the last straw for me. She keeps inviting me out and trying to hangout but I told her I’m done being embarrassed by her. I will not go anywhere to eat with her until she changes her ways. Where do you stand on this?

Bad tippers are the worst. I’ve not gone many a places with people because of their bad etiquette with dinner. I’m not sure what’s worse, when somebody treats servers like servants or when they skim on paying for food and tips.

You are 100% right here. I would never ever go out to eat with your friend again, but she’s your friend so still hang out with her, just make sure you eat at somebody’s house.

My rookie year in Jacksonville we had the tight end/offensive lineman dinner at Ruth’s Chris. At least once per year the drafted rookies have to take their entire position out to eat. The TE’s and OL did it together in Jacksonville. There were about 20 of us. The veteran players always try and run up the bill on the rookies. To make a long story short (I’ll share the full version on the Podcast) the bill was $4,300. Yes that’s correct. 20 people had $4,300 worth of food and drinks within two hours. I left an $800 tip. It was the right thing to do, so I did it.
If you can’t afford the tip or are unwilling to pay it, find a new restaurant.
I am a single dad. I had my son when I was 16 and have had him full time since I was 21. He is now 17 years old. We have a very open and honest relationship. This dude tells me he wants to try smoking weed and drinking. He said he’s nervous about it and didn’t want to sneak around so he wanted to do it with me. I told him “I appreciate his honesty but hell no. I am your dad and we are friends, but I’m not your buddy to cosign anything”. He told me I was whack for that and he could just do it behind my back, but didn’t want to. I have heard stories about parents doing this sort of thing with their kids, but I’m not with that. If he wants to make the decision to do those things when he’s of legal age that’s his choice, but until then it’s a no for me. He said he would wait. Do you think he is going to try and do it anyway? Should I rein in the leash on him some and keep him “busy” to make sure he’s not doing those things?
I applaud the young man’s honesty and audacity. However, you would be a horrible dad if you just start partying with your kid. I just recently saw an example of that on “Nature Boy”. That is the ESPN 30-for-30 on Ric Flair. Ric started letting his young son Reid come on the road with him drinking and doing drugs. They were “buddies” and friends who partied together. Flair’s son ended up dying from an overdose.

I don’t want to put that fate on your son, but I believe you run the risk of more bad things happening when you start treating kids more like friends and equals. If your son has no authority figure to be accountable to then he is more likely to justify poor behavior. He will say “my dad knows, it’s fine” instead of saying “I don’t know if I should do this, what if my dad finds out’”.

I would definitely rein my son in tight. It is clear he needs new friends. The friends he is hanging out have too much free time and are under supervised. Those kids are headed for some bad things happening. When teens start smoking weed and drinking, that means some of them will be driving. We know how that story can end.
I want the best for my kids and it sounds like you do to. Get your kid extremely busy trying to achieve something and do something out in the world. If he has a mission, he doesn’t have time to be screwing around, and he will meet a new peer group that is headed down a more positive path.

That doesn’t mean he will never drink, smoke weed, or make poor choices. He will just be far less likely for those things to go down a path of addiction, jail, or death.

#Unafraid Anonymous Emails #5

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My wife and I have been married for 18 years. I believe we have done a good job of teaching our kids the importance or character, faith, and doing the right thing. We have raised our kids with open communication and we pride ourselves on being our kids friend. Our oldest daughter is 17 and is a junior in high school. She has always been a good student and good citizen. Lately, she has been closed off and secretive. She changed her passcode to her phone, made her Instagram and Snapchat private and won’t let anyone near it. I am concerned but I do not want to violate her privacy. I want to check her phone, social media, and put a location tracker on her phone. What if I do it and she hates me for it? What do I do?
Firstly, I see is that you are too concerned with being your kids’ friend than being their parent.
Secondly, If my kid thinks they are going to have a social media account that I don’t have access to, they won’t have a social media account. I’ll lock the whole damn phone and computer. There are apps for that!
I believe in talking with your kids and having open and honest conversations with them so they actually talk to you and don’t keep secrets. However, if my kids switch up like your daughter did I will get all up in their shit! I’m talking random phone checks, location tracker, and keystroke monitoring. Some of this would be done covertly, and some she would know about. Your job is to protect your kids and train them up properly. Secrets are no good.
The last thing you want on your hands is a teen pregnancy, drug use, or suicide.   Sometimes you have to make decisions in her best interest that she will not like. She may be mad at you for a while, but better that than the alternative.
I guarantee your daughter will not hate you and will get over it if you have been a loving and nurturing parent. She will eventually thank you for it. I’d be willing to bet something is going on.
Time to put those big boy daddy pants on and be a parent and not a friend first.
Just watched your live show when I got home from work and found myself wondering….it’s never too soon to have the conversation about guns and, imo, it’s been decades overdue. not opposed to the ownership of guns and do agree that things (for the greater good) need some kind of regulation…my question is this: what does the government do with those who get things off the black market, etc.?
I am a second amendment supporter, however I do realize that these amendments were agreed upon at the same 1787 Constitutional Convention that said blacks slaves should be counted as 3/5 of a person. So, I recognize there may need to be some tweeking to the gun laws to make them more up to date with the day and age. We have done that to many other amendments, so why would guns be so sacred that laws cannot be modified to protect the masses.
Most times when people in government say it’s too soon to talk about guns after a shooting they are getting checks from gun lobbyist or the NRA.
I don’t know what the answer to what sensible gun law legislation is but I do know that people convicted of violent crimes, domestic violence, or have certain mental diagnosis shouldn’t be allowed to buy guns. I also know that we need to do the right thing ASAP before more blood is spilled on our street with legally bought guns.
As far as the black market, the reality is ordinary citizens with legally bought weapons aren’t out in the street defending their family in shootouts against people with black market weapons. Most of these black market weapons surround drugs and crime. You get crime together the demand for black market weapons goes down.
I am not a great athlete. Neither is my wife. My son is in 9th grade at a top private school that has great academics and athletics.  He is not extremely quick, tall, and doesn’t have hops. He plays extremely hard, is a phenomenal shooter and ball handler. This summer we stepped up his competition on the AAU circuit and he got demolished by the more athletic kids. He swears he is going to be an NBA player. I love my kid and have invested at least 50k in the last 2 years on shooting coaches, personal training, and a custom diet for him. Then there are the AAU fees, travel, etc.  At this point I believe I’m wasting money. He’s not going to the NBA and won’t get a college scholarship. He’s just not physically gifted enough. I don’t want to be a dream killer because I tell him he can be whatever he wants in life if he works hard.
So how do I break it to him that I’m done forking out all this cash for a dream that’s not coming true?
This kid is a money pit. You need your ass whooped for spending 100k (50k + AAU fees and travel) on middle school kid sports training. I wouldn’t care if my kid is the second coming of LeBron, it’s not worth that cash. You have set a bad precedent. If you stop it will be like a divorce for you. This kid has “grown accustomed” to a certain lifestyle, and he’s gonna be pissed if it stops. You said it yourself that the kid just doesn’t have the God given ability to be an athlete however do not be a dream killer. You have three choices at this point.
1. Stop the bleeding but still support his dream.. Your kid clearly has qualities that will get him far in life. He is hard working and doesn’t give up when he gets his teeth kicked in. Investing in a kid like this is a good investment, but 100k is ridiculous. Get that 100k down to a level that you feel is commensurate with his athletic ability before it turns into 500k. He will appreciate you for supporting his dream despite how unrealistic you believe it is. A lot of people have done a lot of things no one thought the could.
2. Double Down. If you double down and focus on his education so he gets into a good school basketball school like Duke, North Carolina, or UCLA he may be able to walk on at one of those schools. You don’t mind shelling out the cash, so I bet you can make that happen. Maybe from there he goes on to be a NBA coach or general manager. You would have made his dreams come true.
3. Jedi Mind Trick. You need to start getting this kid interested in things other than basketball. Keep letting him train, just cut it back some and find something else he is interested in. She is he likes art, golf, stocks, business, or anything else. You might actually find that he likes something he can monetize. You could then invest in his idea and recoup some of that cash.
I applaud you for being industrious enough to have about 100k of disposable income to devote to helping your kid to succeed in 7thand 8th grade, but stop while you are not ahead.
I have a cool job and have been at it a while. A new more prestigious position opened up and I applied but did not get it. Another lady got the job, but it wasn’t a big deal because it was a long shot. She is now my new boss and I’m now having trouble with new office dynamics. She seems upset I even applied for the job though she got it. She used to be ok now she’s a manipulative, insecure and deceitful boss? She withholds information that is needed to know to do my job right. I love my job but don’t know how to handle this. Did this ever happen in football and what did you do?
This job doesn’t sound so cool anymore. It sounds like it sucks. This lady clearly wants you gone, or in a position to consistently use you as the whipping boy/girl to prop herself up.
Right now if sounds like you are playing defense and always on your heels. That’s not going to work in this situation. It is time to go on the offensive. I have a plan for you. Start looking at other job opportunities in case she gets you fired before you can execute the second part of the plan. You have to do this very quietly though.
The second part is strategic and crafty. You have to start making your other coworkers and superiors see her how you see her. But, you can’t just outright say it, you have to make it seem like they formed this opinion on their own. Show them your work, ask for their input on the situation. Be transparent and cc: them on emails etc that way when something is missing, they can see who left out the key information. They will be happy to help you with your job and will be advocates for you behind closed doors.
You may have to light a couple fires then play the burn victim. Start a problem and when the person reacts go on defense and be scared, offended, or insulted. This always works in life. I’ve never done it but I’ve had it done to me and seen it in action many times. Whoever plays the victim role better gets the most sympathy. 

I hope this plan works for you. If you plan it carefully enough you will win!

#Unafraid Anonymous Emails #4


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I met a woman who I swear is the most beautiful woman on the entire earth. I mean like Olivia Munn, Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce beautiful. I’m a 38 year old regular dude and this is by far the most beautiful woman who has ever given me any attention. She said she likes me but needs she needs confirmation that I’m the right guy for her. She’s big into psychics, tarot cards, and palm reading and wants me to be. I think those things are witchcraft and scare the hell out of me, but I don’t want to lose this opportunity.

I’m not doubting your lady is beautiful. However, the reality is most times a guy is infatuated with a woman he thinks she’s the most beautiful thing in the whole world, at least for a little while.
I get that you feel like she’s out of your league in terms of looks, but you haven’t mentioned anything about her character or personality. These are the things that matter most my friend.

I personally stay far away from people who are into the whole psychic, tarot card, and palm reading stuff. Too much fake Miss Cleo mumbo jumbo, and there’s evil spirits lurking around those places.

Cut your loses and let her go. Hopefully, you haven’t invested too much in this relationship so she’s not upset. She probably knows people who put voodoo rut’s on people.


My friend just got a divorce and she has three kids who are 13, 10, and 7. I decided to let her live with me for a little while her divorce was finalized and she got on her feet. The divorce has been final for over three months now and they have been living with me for seven months now. I love the kids and they are great, and I kind of like them around but it’s time that I have my own space back. She got a big lump sum for spousal support and is working. I have mentioned it casually a few times, but there has been no movement. I am a person who shies away from conflict. How can I make this happen and not make any bad blood with the kids because I like them more than my friend at this point?

I am flattered that you guys believe I have great advice, so I’ll do my best here.

You didn’t mention if she’s paying you rent, so I’ll assume that she isn’t. I have had house guests/live in people a number of times, getting them out sometimes proves more difficult than it should be being you are doing them a favor. The time for subtlety is over. It’s time to put your big girl drawls on and have a real conversation and let her know that she has to go NOW.

Since you shy away from conflict I’m assuming you get flustered in these conversations and at the end think about how many things you wish you had said. I would make a list and write down all the points you want to make to your friend and deliver them with love and care.

If your friend cannot understand and appreciate the generosity you have shown then she is either an unappreciative and selfish person or is just hurting from her divorce and will soon see the light.

Hope the convo goes well.

My son’s high school football team has a few division 1 players but they are losing. The coach’s son is a junior and he is the quarterback and he sucks. Interceptions, over throws, fumbles, etc. He’s playing daddy ball and trying to showcase his kid to try and get him a scholarship with all these playmakers around him. We have a freshman behind him who is fantastic and trains with one of the well-known QB coaches. My son is a junior as well. He is tired of losing, should we transfer or go to the administration and get him fired?

Unfortunately, “Daddy Ball” is a common place in youth sports. He’s a parent trying to do what is best for his kid before he’s your high school football coach. If the freshman is as good as you say he is, chances are that the coach knows his son is not the best too. If what you say is as apparent as you say it is then you are not the only one who is taking notice.
This is definitely not a conversation you can have with the coach personally unless you two are super tight.

Transferring schools would be my ABSOLUTE last option. Most states have transfer rules and your kid would likely have to sit out games if he did. Also, I’m assuming your son likes his school and is getting a good education and would have to leave a good environment.

Your best bet is an option that feels a little yucky. You have to do covert operations and get support from other parents and administrators to get the man ousted.

The optimal scenario is hoping that the coach realizes the error in his ways and benches his kid. You do have to realize that benching your kid is tough for most dads. I’ve benched mine!


My question for you is: what helps you keep going/motivates you when life gets difficult?

Exclusively my faith in God keeps me motivated and going. I believe that if I stay the course and continue to do the right things everything will work out. There are times where it’s hard and you feel you are in a dark tunnel and can’t see the light. At that point I stop, pray for answers, set the course and am not deterred from the mission/goals.

#UNAFRAID ANONYMOUS EMAILS #3


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Do you believe that the advent of the 24 hour sports news and media cycle coupled with the over saturation of social media make it harder for coaches and staff to enforce team discipline and unity than it did when we were playing together?

Who would in a foot race between President Trump and Hilary Clinton?

The first thing that comes to my mind is how long is this race. I don’t believe either of them could complete a mile run in a timeframe that would be compelling. So lets assume the race is 200 meters, it’s a sprint but long enough to get some drama.

Trump is an old man with a big gut. I imagine he makes weird heavy breathing noises, is super sweaty, and is on the verge of passing out during sex. The visual I just got of him on top of Melania grossed me out.

Clinton doesn’t look like she’s worked out in decades. I imagine she has one of those chair lifts that takes old people up and down stairs at her home. If she walked up she would have to spot and sit down half way.

The race would be a fight to the finish. I ultimately believe Clinton would win. She lost the election, would rather die than lose again to Trump.


When is it ok to tell a lie?

Simple question but this is tricky as it gets.

My heart and character says that it is never ok to lie, despite the consequences. I tell my kids that character is paramount and it is never ok to tell a lie, unless it’s to protect a good surprise.

I could give you all types of scenarios and justifications of when lying is socially acceptable, but I won’t.

It’s never ok to lie, even when wife asks me does a shirt make her look fat? When I’m trying to “protect someone’s feelings”. Someone tried to convince me there it’s ok to lie when the out come is the “RIGHT Thing”. But how on earth can the right thing happen when it’s based in a lie.
*I occasionally fall into the “justifications” category but I’m trying to do better.


I met this girl at the gym about a year ago. We started talking and hanging out as friends for a few months. A couple months ago we decided to start dating. We are pretty serious now. I am truly in love with this woman and I know I want to marry her.

She brought me out of state to her parent’s house for her moms surprise birthday party. She introduces me to her best friend childhood friend. I initially didn’t recognize her, but about halfway through dinner I remember she was a chick I hooked up with in Vegas off Tinder right before I met my girl.

Through the course of the night, we talked and she asked me to tell my girl. I initially said yes, but I feel bad.

This is the woman I’m supposed to spend my life with. I have to tell her right?

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard of random hookup stories coming back to haunt people. They should change the slogan from “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” to “what happens in Vegas shows up 9-12 months later”.

It’s better to bite the bullet and fess up now. If she’s going to leave you for a chick you hooked up with before you met, she will leave you for a lot less eventually anyway. You will be left with your integrity, even though integrity can’t do the things your girl can.

This is a fact of life; there are no secrets that are kept forever. They all eventually come out. It’s usually not immediate but it’s coming. It probably wouldn’t even be you or your friend who lets the cat out of the bag. It will be some random person three years from now who makes a random comment that raises questions. Once that happens your then wife will be pissed that you kept a huge secret. And you might have an ex-wife.

My 16-year-old son plays AAU basketball. His father passed away when he was 2, so he hasn’t had a true father figure around. He has been playing for the same AAU coach for 2 years. He is a great man and treats my son like his own. The man is successful, handsome, single, a great guy, and over the two years he’s really grown on me. I really want to date him, but I don’t want my son to be affected, and things may get weird if they don’t work out with us. What should I do? 

It sounds like you attracted to this man because you want him as a father to your son, and not for all the right reasons.

It is a horrible idea to date your son’s coach. Even if you two go off and get married it will create significant social issues with his teammates and other people in the program.

I once played with a kid in high school that had a “fine” mom. She was gorgeous. Every guy would make comments to him about how fine his mom was. He was always pissed off.

Now imagine the cruel things teenagers would say about what coach is doing to his mom.

My advice to you is this: Your son is 16, and I’m assuming he’s a junior in high school. He will graduate in a year and a half. After he’s done. Go ahead and date the coach. Not one minute before.

Only certain doom and shame can come from doing it before.

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What do you think happens next on the NCAA basketball probe and does it spill over to football? Do the football coaches get similar packages to what Pitino had at Louisville?

Please tell anyone who believes paying players is exclusive to basketball that I have some ocean front property in Montana that I want to sell them. I will never be the guy to snitch but I’ll say it like this… I would be willing to bet my bank account that some college football players have been paid to attend certain colleges.
Football coaches absolutely have compensation packages from shoe companies that directly tie to performance. That is one of the ways schools subsidize their coaches high salaries. The NCAA is somewhere on their knees begging the FBI to make this go away. Every Power 5 school could be affected in some way.
This whole mess reminds me of a quote: Everyone wants to eat sausage but nobody wants to go to the factory to see how sausage is made. We all want great sports teams at our schools, but we want to pretend the school, new uniforms, and facilities are the only reasons kids are showing up.
Why do socialist always oppose tax cuts?
First off, where do you find these “socialists” so I can go ask one. I am not opposed to tax cuts. In fact, most tax cuts Trump is proposing may end up being beneficial to my family. However, I asked a simple question this week that stumped everyone on twitter and Facebook.
Can someone sensibly explain to me how a massive corporate tax cuts will help wages for middle class and low income families?
You can possibly sell me on the idea that tax cuts will stimulate the economy (not sure I believe its true). What you can’t see me on is trickle down economics. Corporate tax cuts wont put more money in working class households. The highest earners just get bigger bonuses and companies will pay dividends. Corporations aren’t going to pay regular workers more out of the kindness of their heart.
I work at a tech company. We don’t have cubicles or offices, and all employees share a common kitchen. I am one of the company’s original seven employees, but now there are 36 of us.
It started out as this all for one, one for all thing, where we would share food, drinks, condiments, etc. It was all good, but when my Snickers in the freezer and ramen comes up missing and never replaced and I’m pissed and ready to go off.
Should I start labeling my stuff, send a memo, or do a sinister prank?
I feel like I can relate. As a pro athlete, you are constantly working in a community space. You constantly have to set and enforce personal space boundaries for teammates.
Now on to your options:
I approach this situation as “levels of escalation”. I’m sending a non-sugarcoated company wide memo first entitled “You take it, you replace it” that details the office etiquette as you see it.
The next step is labeling your stuff, and on that label detail the people who are on the approved list to share your items. This will really piss people off because you are indirectly calling offenders out.
If the problem still continues that means you have no respect from the offender(s) so you must escalate. I would either make food or bring items that look appealing to eat but taste like ass and just sit it in there and wait for the culprit to get what they deserve. Just make sure it’s nothing poisonous. It would be a shame to go to jail over this.
This is the best advice you can get… from a guy who has never worked in a traditional office environment (I don’t think radio and tv stations count).
Oregon Ducks: Is it not possible to put a game plan together with the screen game to the backs and a two back set with a combo of Freeman , Benoit, TBJ and Griffin…Tons of talent there…Or is it too difficult to bring in a whole new game plan…
While I agree with you and it makes sense in theory. It all comes back to one single thing. Burmeister has to be able to threaten the defense passing the football. There is no way on earth to win football games against Pac-12 opponents when they have ZERO fear of you throwing the football. Screens are most effect on pass downs or when the defense is blitzing.
I would never blitz Burmeister right now. I’d rush three and drop eight and force him to fit the ball in tight windows.
Oregon will have to be extremely creative offensively and take some shots on 3rd and short if they want some explosive plays.