Unafraid Anonymous Emails #8: Virgins, Weedheads, Jail, Cheating

Unafraid Anonymous Emails #8: Virgins, Weedheads, Jail, Cheating

 

It’s Wednesday and the best ever #Unafraid Anonymous Emails are here. This is a time where you all can send in all your questions and comments without fear. Anonymity is guaranteed!

Send all your anonymous email questions to unafraidshow@gmail.comAnd Iwewill answer them. 

 
You guys have been enjoying #TheWifevsTheExpert, so I brought it to the Anonymous Emails. If you don’t know, it’s when DanishaDanielle (my wife) picks college football games against me The Expert against the spread. I give the best advice but she will tell you the “right thing”.
 
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On to the emails:
 
I’m a 21 year old virgin. I met this girl on tinder about a week ago, we’ve been talking and sending pics on snapchat, I asked if she wanted to hang out and watch a movie sometime she said yeah and asked if I was free Saturday night. I invited her to go out and she asked me to come over. She would cook and we would watch a movie. At the end of the conversation, she told me to bring a condom. Got any advice?
GEORGE: Just realize what you are getting yourself into. If you don’t want to have sex don’t go. She already let you know what the deal is. If you go over there you are going to have sex with her. You probably think you will hangout, and have a good time without having sex with her, WRONG. She already has her mind made up.
If you don’t want to have sex, GET OFF TINDER. From my understanding, it is a “hookup site”.
 
I’d say stay a virgin till you get married. It is a good idea and ensures you won’t make poor dating decisions because the “cookie” is sweet.
DANISHA: My first advice would be… STAY A VIRGIN! It will keep you focused on everything in your future and help you make better dating decisions. I love the message in “The Wait” with Devon Franklin. If you are considering whether or not to have sex, I think you will get a lot of solid advice on how to make that decision. Secondly, I’d have to recommend different dating environments. If you want to remain a virgin, you have to avoid the “Netflix and Chill” type dates and drinking alcohol. That’s a recipe for sex. If the girl you are dating insists upon having sex, she may not be a match for you and that’s ok. There are plenty of fish in the sea and LOTS of women who will appreciate a man who is not focused on sex.
My fiancé made a stupid mistake and was sentenced to 50 days in jail. It starts in three weeks. Honestly, she is NOT the “Tough hard-ass” type.
What are some tips on “surviving” county jail. Obviously, she feels terrible about what she did. She regrets her mistake. I don’t know how to help her because she is extremely scared and very emotional. I just think it would be good to know some tips on making it easier. HELP. I’m doing my best to be there for her in this situation, but I don’t know. I want to give her a heads up on what’s coming in the next couple weeks.
GEORGE: My advice would be “don’t do anything that would require you to go to jail”, however, you don’t always have to do anything wrong to go to jail. I did once spent 12 hours in jail for something I didn’t do. Which was absolutely ridiculous being that I was in the bed sleep, but whatever.
 
If I were overly sensitive I would think this was racist. Ask the black man how to handle jail. How the hell am I supposed to know the answer to this question? I have no experience in the county jail.
The reality is that it’s county jail for 50 days. She likely won’t serve the entire time because prisons are overcrowded. The reality is nothing likely will happen to her that she can’t recover from.
 
DANISHA: Ummmm… I have no clue.  Watch LockUp? Ask a friend who has gone to jail or know somebody currently in County? Try again for probation and/or community service? Pray!??!
Some of my closest friends smoke weed frequently and I don’t so it makes it harder to hang out and find a middle ground. Can I have advice on doing this and overall not giving in to peer pressure when I’m one of the only people I know out of my friends sober?
GEORGE: Find new friends. Nobody wants to hang out with people when they are the only sober person. Also, nobody who is not sober wants to regularly hangout with people who are faded. It’s not fun for either party unless they are using you as the designated driver.
It is always good to be around like-minded people who have the same goals and aspirations as you. You clearly are not at this time. Do better.
DANISHA: I’ve never been into smoking weed and I’ve always been very clear about that with friends who do.  Honestly, I really don’t even like to be around the smoke so I removed myself from those situations. If they are truly your friends, they should be supportive and respectful of your decision to NOT smoke weed. If they are smoking weed all of the time, you should be wary of spending too much time with them. Whether you want to be or not, you will likely be influenced to change your principles.
The holidays are coming up. I’m trying to figure out what to get my wife of 2 years. She is super practical, and not materialistic at all. She is a workout nut and runs 5-10 miles every day. Her knees have started to hurt from running on the asphalt. She has said she wants a treadmill. My initial thought is to get her what she asked for. However, all I can think about is how mad my mom was when my dad got her the microwave she asked for when I was younger. What to do?
 
GEORGE: I wish women would just say what they want for gifts instead of us needing a decoder ring to figure it out. If you say you want a treadmill and the man gets you a treadmill, don’t be upset about it. You want open and honest communication. Communicate.
Now, here is the real world advice. Get your wife some jewelry, spa days, or take her on a trip. You can never go wrong with those. Also, make her a card with a build-a –card kit from Michael’s.
And if you know she really wants the treadmill, then get it for her, and get her one of the other gifts as well. There is no way you can end up in the dog house.
DANISHA: A treadmill isn’t exactly sexy. My college ex-boyfriend bought me an Ab Roller for my birthday after I told him I wanted to get in shape. I didn’t talk to him for two days. How RUDE can you be?!  LOL! Anyhoo… I would recommend getting her a gift that shows her that you LOVE her. If you’re a little unsure how she feels loved, ask her to take “The 5 Love Languages” test. If Quality Time is her highest love language, plan a special outing together. If it’s Words of Affirmation, you can write her a special letter and frame it. You get the picture… There’s nothing wrong with getting her more than one gift by the way… J. You can do them all!
Would you rather have LaVar Ball or Kris Jenner for a parent?
George: Why do I have to choose? Wouldn’t a Ball/Jenner marriage produce a star?
 
In all seriousness, the answer is obvious. I’d choose Kris Jenner. She has done this whole “creating a star” thing successfully 5 times already. KJ already knows the blueprint and doesn’t step on media landmines. LaVar is still learning the ropes and doesn’t have the proven track record of success that Kris has. Ask me this question again in 5 years and I might have a different answer.
 
LaVar has a huge mountain to climb to prove everybody wrong after sending LiAngelo and LaMelo to Lithuania to play pro ball.
DanishaDanielle: Yikes. I’m not a fan of helicopter parenting and both seem to be overbearing but at least LaVar Ball is the slightly better option. Actually… on second thought… I’d hate to be raised by a parent who put basketball above character and didn’t believe in consequences. I’d have to be emancipated.
My sister is a beautiful girl and was a hot chick until about 2 years ago when she had a bad break up with her fiancé. She let herself go. Now she’s fat and out of shape. I didn’t really mention it at first because I knew she was going through a rough time. Now how do I tell her she needs to work out without hurting her feelings?
George: There’s no easy way to do this! Just rip the Band-Aid off. Hold on, let me back up for a second. Everybody’s idea of fat is different. If we talking about 10-15 pounds, just shut up and let her figure it out herself. But if you feel like she is headed down a slippery slope, just invite her to workout or do something active with you. If we are talking 30-50+ pounds, you have to bring it up. You have given it enough time. Don’t come at her and say, “Hey sis, you are a fat as hell right now, go workout”.
 
If she got big after her breakup, she was clearly having some emotional problems. However, I would definitely be direct but sensitive. You are talking to a woman so she will respond better if she knows this is coming from a place of love instead of vanity. She knows she’s big, but she may not realize how big she is. I would want someone to be direct with me. You are a good brother that is concerned about your sister’s health.
 
Before you have this conversation, you better assess your own physical conditioning. If you are big yourself, I’d change my tune and tell her you want to be workout buddies and accountability partners.
DanishaDanielle: I think that making sure that she has gotten through the rough time should be a more primary concern than her weight. If the weight bothers you, it already bothers her. I think the most important thing is to talk to her about her about how she’s feeling nowadays. When you feel good about yourself, you take better care of yourself. She may have made some lifestyle changes (not working out anymore, diet, drinking, etc.) that have impacted her weight. Depending on how old she is, her age may also have finally caught up with her and her metabolism has changed so she may need to do things differently than when she was younger. It’s not always easy or realistic to be someone’s workout buddy but when you hang out with her, invite her to do something active (hike, beach bike ride, Either way, be a source of encouragement for her instead of a source of criticism.
I have been dating two women. Technically they are both my serious, exclusive girlfriend. Both live out of state. One of them, I’ll call Lady V. I’ve known for years and is extremely close to my family. They live about 15min away from each other. The other one, Lady M used to live in the same city as me and but she moved about 2000 miles away. Most of her friends are still somewhat in my social circle.  I just got a huge job opportunity and I am accepting it. I mean like the chance of a lifetime. Of course, I am excited and accepting it.
My friends and family decided to throw me a last minute party in 1 week. My family says they are coming up and so is Lady V. Ok. No problem. I figured I wouldn’t tell Lady M about it until the day of and say it’s a surprise. However, Lady M tells me today, two days before the party, “SURPRISE she’s coming”. Her friends told her. I can’t disinvite either one to the party. The party is going to be about 200-300 of our people there at a club plus the regular club goers.
What do I do?
GEORGE: You are up shits creek without a paddle. I would love to throw you a life raft, but I you are on your own.
When I had a similar situation happen to me in college I didn’t tell either one. However, the girl who came in from out of town got wind something was up when she came to my game and another girl was sitting with my family. That night I had a party and the out of town girlfriend showed up and ignored me the entire night and flirted with other guys. I was pissed but had to be quiet and take it. The girl who came up with my family was none the wiser. The other girl didn’t speak to me for months and I had to grovel.
At the end of the day, the entire thing blew up in my face because I lost both of their respect. This was a bad move all the way around. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t have two girlfriends.
DanishaDanielle: You are totally out of pocket. The only way out of this is, to TELL THE TRUTH and stop being a douchebag.  Do it before the party so you don’t embarrass yourself and both of these women in front of your family and friends. This party is a call to you to get your life in order.
I am a poor college student. I am burning the candle at both ends taking 18 units and working full time. I need more money to live. It’s like I can never get ahead. Something always comes up as soon as I have a little extra money. My car breaks down, computer crashes, or rent goes up. I’m literally depending on Ramen and invites to friends apartments for meals. I have started donating blood like people do in the movies. Now I’m considering donating sperm at the sperm bank. I can make at least $500 per month. Am I a deadbeat dad for this?
GEORGE: This all depends on your conscience and ability to sleep at night. I personally don’t think I would be ok knowing I had kids out there and I wasn’t a part of their life. I know there are a lot of families that need fertility help. That just wouldn’t be my choice.
When I was single I did consider “studding”. I read a few articles about me who are physically built well and very intelligent can fetch up to 100k per kid. I have produced three highly intelligent, good-looking, physical studs. I know I could fetch a pretty penny for my high-quality DNA.
There is also the possibility that you could have 200 kids come out of the woodworks wanting to know their dad like Vince Vaughn in “Delivery Man”. Seriously, since Ancestry.com came out at least 3 family members have found me.

 

DanishaDanielle: This sounds like a page out of my college life… without the whole donating sperm part. You’re definitely not a deadbeat dad for donating sperm. You can choose to look at it like you are assisting parents conceive children that would otherwise not be able to. However, if it makes you uncomfortable to have children with your biological DNA out in the world, I would definitely stick to your principles and find other ways to make money. Uber and Lyft are great options for college students. There should also be plenty of on-campus jobs available that won’t pay quite as well but will be convenient and flexible.

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