Five Trade Destinations that Make Sense for N’Keal Harry

Heading into his third year in the NFL, N’Keal Harry’s agent has requested that the New England Patriots find him a new home. Los Angeles-based lawyer and NFL Agent Jamal Tooson gave the following statement about the former first-round pick’s trade request, first reported by NFL Network’s Mike Garafolo:

For the record, I came up covering N’Keal Harry, first as a high school standout, and then later as a star receiver at Arizona State University. While Patriots fans are understandably upset at the idea that anyone would ask to be moved from their storied franchise, the trade request actually makes sense. Bill Belichick’s post-Tom Brady offense ranked tied for last in TD passes, 31st in completions, 30th in passing yards, and 27th in points per game. They return the same offensive coordinator in Josh McDaniels, and WR coach in Mick Lombardi, and in all likelihood, Cam Newton will take the majority of the snaps under center this year as 2021 first round draft pick Mac Jones develops.

In his first two years in New England, N’Keal Harry has battled injuries, and struggled to find a consistent role in the Patriots offense when he’s on the field. As his agent alluded to in his public comments about the trade request, Harry desires to be used as a downfield threat. To many Patriots fans, they see a receiver that struggles to create separation off the line of scrimmage, and so continuing to try and make use of him on shorter routes seems to be counterintuitive.

While Pats fans might be upset at Harry’s early production, and at the idea that he’s request a trade heading into his third season, if they don’t believe he’s going to ultimately fulfil their expectations, why wouldn’t they be behind the idea of attempting to get some compensation in return for finding a more fitting offense?

On N’Keal Harry’s end, it makes sense to attempt to position himself as a necessary offensive weapon on a team with a thriving (or at the very least, average) offense. It’s going to be increasingly difficult for N’Keal Harry to earn a second contract on a team whose wideouts from the 2020 season ranked 28th in total targets, and one of only three teams in the NFL without a single wide receiver on the roster to average over six targets per game (Eagles, Raiders).

Whether there’s a market for N’Keal Harry isn’t in question, what remains to be seen is just how motivated Bill Belichick is to finding a new home for Harry whilst seeking fair compensation in return. Assuming the Patriots do move N’Keal Harry, here are five trade destinations that make the most sense:

1. The Kansas City Chiefs

Any wideout would jump at the chance to play alongside Patrick Mahomes, as well as in an Andy Reid offense. What makes this a potentially great fit is that the Chiefs actually have a need for a bigger-bodied receiver after losing Sammy Watkins in free agency to the Baltimore Ravens. They have Marcus Kemp, Jody Fortson and Gehrig Dieter as developmental guys, so you know they have a desire to play a bigger wideout alongside speedy-but-diminutive threats Mecole Hardman and Tyreek Hill. N’Keal Harry could make an already unstoppable offense even more dangerous, but as Charles Goodman of Chiefs Wire pointed out, the $1.4 million and $3.2 million cap hits over the next two years might be a tough pill to swallow unless they believe Harry is going to pan out.

2. The Los Angeles Chargers

Justin Herbert likes big receivers, and isn’t afraid to take risks downfield. While adding N’keal Harry would likely be more of a depth play in 2021, as Mike Williams and Keenan Allen are firmly entrenched as the top two receivers on the Chargers roster, one has to wonder if the Chargers plan on breaking the bank to keep Williams and Allen paired together beyond 2021. The dynamic duo is scheduled to make a combined $31 millions this season, and with Williams on the cusp on unrestricted free agency, and Allen due another $66 million in 2022-2024. Harry could give the Chargers the option of spending their money elsewhere in the 2022 offseason, while giving him some of the more mild weather that he thrived in as a collegiate standout.

3. The Jacksonville Jaguars

Urban Meyer likes big athletes with five-star pedigrees, and N’Keal Harry certainly has that going for him. The Jaguars are putting their franchise in the hands of a rookie QB in Trevor Lawrence, and the best thing they can do for him is surround him with as much talent as possible right out of the gate. The Jaguars have the resources and the cap room to make this happen without even breaking a sweat, and the capital with the fans to mark any risk that doesn’t pan out in the early going as a well intentioned experiment (for reference, see Tim Tebow).

4. The Green Bay Packers

Could one man’s trade request be the cure for another? Aaron Rodgers’ much-chronicled battle with the Green Bay front office has dragged on far longer than any Packers fan is comfortable with, but it looks like they’re ready to hang on to Rodgers no matter how hard the future hall of famer makes the lives of every single suit in that organization. Certainly adding one former first round pick at wide receiver isn’t going to cure all of the internal ills they have going on over there, but even if adding N’Keal Harry doesn’t tempt Aaron Rodgers to squash his many beefs and attempt to put together another MVP season in 2021, Jordan Love is going to need more weapons on the outside anyway.

5. The Denver Broncos

You might be looking at the Denver Broncos being included on this list and saying to yourself “why would N’Keal Harry want to go to a team that’s equally unsettled at the quarterback position?” Well, fellow class of 2016 5-star wideout Jerry Jeudy is a Denver Bronco, and one thing the Denver Broncos made sure to do was give him tons of opportunities to succeed. Jeudy was second in targets among rookies in 2020 despite being eighth in receptions. Through their growing pains, the Broncos at least made sure to take plenty of shots. The other thing I find appealing about this Broncos offense is the way Vic Fangio makes use of 6-4, 212 WR Tim Patrick. After two forgettable years in Denver, Patrick had 51 receptions and 6 touchdowns in 2021. That’s exactly the type of development and career rehabilitation N’Keal Harry needs.

What do Floyd Mayweather and the 2004 Detroit Pistons have in Common?

Floyd Mayweather is fresh off what he calls (and I think we can all agree actually is), a “Legalized bank robbery” in his hundred-plus million dollar exhibition payday against YouTuber-turned-boxer, Logan Paul.

Whether it’s a real bout or an exhibition, if Floyd Mayweather stepping into a ring does anything, it just causes us to re-ignite the absurd and unresolvable debate of whether Floyd Mayweather is the greatest boxer of all time.

Floyd Mayweather “When it comes to legalized bank robbing, I’m the best” pic.twitter.com/xbwYFjplXr— BroBible (@BroBible) June 7, 2021

While I’m sure to get plenty of pushback from Money Mayweather’s always passionate fan base for not crowning him the best ever, I would be an absolute lunatic to deny that he’s the most skilled and successful defensive fighter of my lifetime.

He’s as good at defending himself as the 2003-2004 Detroit Pistons were at defending the entire NBA.

Am I making a weird comparison here? Sure, but I’m right. Here’s why:

If you push the action against Floyd, we’ve seen time and time again, the result will be will be pain and frustration. Trying to punch Floyd Mayweather is like trying to retrieve a ball from under a thick rosebush- even if you get what you came for, you’re going to get hurt.

But this last weekend, he couldn’t even muster the strength to knock out a regular citizen. You can make the argument that he had no incentive to do so, but I’m sure you’d agree that he had plenty of incentive against the opponents he faced over the previous two decades, right? Well if you look at the last 22 years, Floyd only has one non-technical knockout, and it came against a fighter in Victor Ortiz, whom Floyd knocked out during the course of a… friendship hug?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ieJPRhlkVh4%3Ffeature%3Doembed

I’m not an idiot. Of course I know Floyd has power. But he doesn’t have the same level of power as many of his elite contemporaries. Ultimately that comparative deficiency doesn’t matter. Floyd is too smart, too fast, and too disciplined to take the type of fight-stopping power punches that he himself has not been able to land. You can’t hurt what you can’t hit.

Floyd is so good on defense that his defense is his offense. Much in the same way that the World Champion 2003-2004 Detroit Pistons, led by Ben Wallace, Rasheed Wallace, Rip Hamilton, Chauncey Billups and Tayshaun Prince, was so good on defense that they won an NBA title despite having one of the worst offenses in.

What Floyd Mayweather and the 2004 Detroit Pistons truly have in common is that in their respective sports and eras, it was their ability to wear opponents down, not blow them away, that made them the best.

And make no mistake- even with all the criticisms and “what-if’s,” they still did the only thing that matters when it comes to determining greatness…

They won.

The greatness of the 2003-2004 Pistons was dismissed by critics who say that Detroit only got a championship over Los Angeles because they were fortunate enough to encounter the dynasty as it was on its last legs.

Surely the 2003-2004 Pistons couldn’t have kept stride with the Lakers that had torn through the 2000-2002 playoffs with a cumulative record of 45-13.

Doesn’t matter. The two teams played when they played and the Pistons took care of business. It’s not Detroit’s fault the Lakers were past their prime and beat up… just like it can’t be Floyd Mayweather’s fault that Manny Pacquiao was beat up when the two of them finally got around to stepping into a ring together.

Could Mayweather have beaten a healthy Pacquaio, especially under the condition that they’d met earlier in their careers? Just like with the 2004 Pistons, the result is the result. It doesn’t matter.

Critics might also point to the fact that the 2003-2004 Detroit Pistons weren’t just 24th in offense during the regular season, but ranked 10th among playoff teams in field goal percentage, and eighth in total points per game. But again, none of those deficiencies matter when you hold your playoff opponents to 80.7 points per contest- the lowest of any team in the last 20 seasons.

The Detroit Pistons celebrate a 4-1 win over the Lakers in the 2004 NBA Finals (David P. Gilkey, Detroit Free Press)

Do fans remember that the Pistons won their last 2004 Eastern Conference final game over the Indiana Pacers in horrifically boring fashion, 69-65? No, they remember a trophy.

Do fans remember Floyd Mayweather’s win over Canelo Alvarez as Alvarez being the age of a college senior? No, they remember a belt.

Both Floyd Mayweather and the 2003-2004 Detroit Pistons prevented opponents from getting good shots, and despite none of the top five purses Money Mayweather has collected including a single knockdown by the victor, including his latest sparring session with a YouTuber, a win is a win.

Defense wins, and if people want to debate whether each respective defense simply never met its match, they can do so full-well knowing both Floyd Mayweather and the 2003-2004 Detroit Pistons did the only thing that mattered to them- they walked away winners.

If you have a take on this and want us to address it on the Wrighster or Wrong Podcast, email us at ImMad@unafraidshow.com

June 7, 2021 Wrighster or Wrong: Weight Loss Challenge, Clippers vs. Luka, US Navy vs. Cameron Kinley, Mayweather vs. Paul, and Cancel or Consequence: Chrissy Teigen

In the June 7, 2021 Episode of Am I Wrighster or Am I Wrong, George Wrighster and Ralph Amsden pledge to go on a weight loss journey together, discuss whether the Los Angeles Clippers are now officially part of Luka Doncic’s origin story, attempt to understand the United States Navy’s denial of Cameron Kinley’s request to delay his military service for a shot at the NFL, debate the fallout of Floyd Mayweather’s money-grab exhibition boxing match against Logan Paul, and discuss whether cancel culture has come for Chrissy Teigen.

Episode Breakdown (68 minutes)

  • George and Ralph start a weight loss challenge- 2:20
  • Are the Los Angeles Clippers Luka Doncic’s origin story?- 11:52
  • The US Navy tells Cameron Kinley his NFL Dream must wait- 25:03
  • Logan Paul vs Floyd Mayweather, nobody wins, but we all lose- 36:21
  • Cancel or Consequence: Chrissy Teigen Edition- 47:30
  • Best of Social Media (Jeff Bezos goes to Space, Mo Brooks)- 60:23
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Two Situations Can Be Made Right If the Lakers Hire Arizona’s Sean Miller

With the defection of Magic Johnson, and the inability to secure either Monty Williams or Ty Lue to replace Luke Walton as head coach, the Los Angeles Lakers are currently mired in a public relations catastrophe. The only figure in all of basketball that may be feeling more pressure than the Lakers at this particular moment in time is University of Arizona head coach Sean Miller. I’m here to make the argument that the Lakers and Sean Miller might just be the solution to each other’s problems.

The Lakers, while always relevant thanks to a rich, championship-filled history, haven’t been competitive since April 12, 2013- the night Kobe Bryant tore his Achilles tendon trying to drive past Golden State’s Harrison Barnes. That injury marked the official end of the Lakers’ decade-plus as a championship contender and sent them into the spiral that the team currently finds itself in.

The Lakers’ Long Road to the Bottom

Here’s a brief refresher on exactly how abrupt and eventful the Lakers’ demise has been:

  • In the 2013-14 season, former NBA MVP’s Kobe Bryant and Steve Nash combined to appear in 21 games for the last-place Lakers, and the team finished in last place in the Pacific Division.
  • In 2014-15, the Lakers replaced the departed Mike D’Antoni with Byron Scott and had a first-round draft pick for the first time since 2009. They used that pick on Julius Randle, who promptly broke his leg and missed his entire rookie season. They finished last in the Pacific Division for the second consecutive season.
  • 2015-16 was the Lakers’ worst in franchise history. In a season that became Kobe Bryant’s farewell tour, the team won one road game in the 2016 half of the season and fired Byron Scott in favor of bringing Luke Walton over from the Warriors.
  • Eight of the Lakers primary contributors in 2016-17 were 25 years old or younger, including four of their own first round picks. They replaced part-owner Jim Buss and longtime GM Mitch Kupchak with Magic Johnson and Rob Pelinka and finished 14th in the Western Conference.
  • In 2017-18, the Lakers started their rebuild under Magic and Pelinka by stockpiling draft picks and shipping former #2 overall pick De’Angelo Russell to Brooklyn in exchange for a pick they’d use on Kyle Kuzma, and Brook Lopez’ expiring contract. They used the #2 overall pick on UCLA PG Lonzo Ball, whose father Lavar’s unorthodox and shameless promotion of his sons’ basketball skills had fostered an extracurricular sports media circus. They improved drastically on the court, but still finished three spots out of the playoff hunt.
  • LeBron James sends shockwaves through the sports world by deciding to write his final basketball chapter in the City of Angels. Instead of plugging LeBron into the young, improving core of the previous season, the Lakers commence signing a cast of NBA misfits in Rajon Rondo, JaVale McGee, Lance Stephenson, and Michael Beasley. Everybody is injured all the time. To make matters worse, players that the Lakers moved on from, like Julius Randle, Thomas Bryant and Brook Lopez, all had fantastic seasons elsewhere. The Lakers finish above .500 when LeBron plays, and go 9-18 without him. During the season, LaVar Ball, father of Lonzo Ball, goes on Phoenix radio stations with the expectation that his son will be dealt to the Suns and openly berates head coach Luke Walton. The team parts ways with Walton, and he’s subsequently accused of sexual assault via a civil lawsuit. Magic Johnson quits his post as the team’s executive vice president in spectacularly odd fashion. The team passes on offering Monty Williams their head coaching position in favor of Ty Lue, who comes away from the three-year contract offer unimpressed, leaving the Lakers without a head coach.

The Lakers wouldn’t be Hollywood’s favorite team without a little bit of drama, but the events of the last six years have jumped the proverbial shark and left the franchise reeling. It’s because this franchise has an appetite for the spotlight, and the stomach for controversy, that I believe the right head coach for them is just 500 miles away, somehow withstanding his own personal tornado of national scorn and scrutiny.

The Ballad of Sean Miller

Sean Miller came to Tucson from Xavier in 2009, hoping to fill the enormous shoes of legendary University of Arizona Lute Olson. By his second year on campus, Miller had made the Wildcats into a 30-win team, knocking off #1 Duke in the Sweet Sixteen round of the NCAA tournament. Heading into his fourth year on campus, he had secured two top-20 prospects in Nick Johnson and Josiah Turner. The following season, Miller landed three of Rivals.com‘s top-23 players, and returned to the Sweet Sixteen.

The trend of dominating the Pac-12, both on the court and in recruiting, has become a regular occurrence for Miller. In his tenure at Arizona, he’s had 10 players selected in the NBA Draft, signed 18 five-star recruits, made seven NCAA Tournament appearances, and won the Pac-12 conference regular season championship five times.

Most impressively, despite being regularly name-dropped in the mind-numbingly stupid NCAA pay-for-play criminal scandal, he’s managed to sign what might be his best recruiting class yet, featuring Rivals’ #4-ranked point guard (Nico Mannion), #3-ranked shooting guard (Josh Green), #15-ranked small forward (Terry Armstrong), and #8-ranked power forward (Zeke Nnaji).

For the last 15 months, Sean Miller has been caught up, fairly or unfairly, in the ongoing NCAA pay-for-play scandal that has seen several coaches and assistants investigated and/or fired for their involvement in funneling cash to recruits or their family members. The goal of those involved was to use cash payments to influence both the athletes’ school decisions, as well as who they select as financial representatives once they made a move toward the NBA. It doesn’t look great for Sean Miller that his long-time assistant, Book Richardson, has pled guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit bribery for taking money from aspiring sports agent Christian Dawkins. It doesn’t look good for Miller that Book Richardson admitted to paying family members of Arizona players and prospects out of his own salary and savings on a Federal wiretap. It definitely doesn’t look good for Sean Miller that those same wiretaps seem to indicate that Book Richardson had no problem painting Deandre Ayton as being one of the players Arizona paid, and that Sean Miller was handling those payments himself. It doesn’t bode well for those who wish to claim that Sean Miller runs a tight, clean ship, that another of his assistants, Mark Phelps, was recently fired for completely separate NCAA violations, reportedly involving the transcripts of one-time Arizona commit and current UCLA forward Shareef O’Neal.

So is Sean Miller Dirty, or Not?

Sean Miller might very well be guilty of funneling cash to high profile recruits like Deandre Ayton. If we’re honest, he looks guilty. The man looks like he stepped right out of HBO’s Boardwalk Empire, having helped Al Capone build and expand his prohibition-era bootlegging empire. It’s not enough, however, to simply look guilty. The truth is, there isn’t one shred of prosecutable evidence that Miller is anything more than a victim of an assistant’s desperate attempt to keep up appearances and prove he could meet the program’s high standards without getting his hands dirty, and an over-zealous media, hungry for the high-profile pound of flesh that this scandal has, thus far, has failed to deliver.

Both ESPN, and Tucson’s hometown newspaper, the Arizona Daily Star, have seemingly jumped the gun on attempting to convict Sean Miller over the course of this scandal. Last spring, ESPN’s Mark Schlabach reported that Sean Miller was caught on a federal wiretap discussing payments to Deandre Ayton with Christian Dawkins. ESPN personalities Jay Bilas and Dick Vitale came out strongly in support of Schlabach’s report, despite the fact that the report quickly began to unravel as Sports Illustrated and others pointed out that Schlabach’s dates for the supposed wiretaps that didn’t correspond with the government’s investigation, which caused Schlabach and ESPN to subsequently change the reported wiretap dates in their report multiple times. To make matters worse for ESPN, Christian Dawkins recently joined Miller and Ayton in making on-the-record denials that any conversation on this subject ever occured. Long time Arizona Daily Star columnist Greg Hansen reacted to Schlabach’s report by going on Phoenix sports radio and claiming that he spoke with Book Richardson, and that the player Sean Miller was actually caught on wiretaps attempting to pay was Brian Bowen. Hansen later apologized, claiming he had not actually spoken to Book Richardson, but that he believed Miller would either quit or be fired anyway. Miller, in the midst of those media missteps, went on to coach the Wildcats last season anyway.

The Lakers and Sean Miller Need Each Other

So that brings me back around to my original point- Sean Miller needs to be the Los Angeles Lakers’ next head coach. It’d be a new chapter for a franchise that hasn’t won more than 37 games in a season in six seasons, and simultaneously, a fresh start for a successful college coach who’s spent the majority of the last two seasons circumstantially tied to a major scandal. It’s a match, seemingly made in hell, that might just provide heavenly results. You have an NBA franchise consistently wrapped up in self-imposed dubious circumstances and a college coach who has stood tall like a deep-rooted oak tree through a potentially self-imposed, but certainly media-enhanced earthquake. Sean Miller’s time at Arizona has been nothing if not perfect preparation to be the ringmaster in the purple and gold circus. While there might be detractors amongst the spoiled-with-success Laker fanatics due to the fact that Sean Miller hasn’t taken Arizona to a championship during his tenure, much less a Final Four, Miller does have plenty of experience managing top young talent. Plus, Sean Miller is a serious coach- you won’t find any John Wooden-like quotes or inspirational soliloquies attributed to Miller. In the twilight of his career, LeBron James might appreciate Sean Miller’s businesslike, no-frills approach to running a team. Sean Miller also has a history of attracting the top available talent, and no one in the NBA bats an eye if you show up in a free agent’s living room with a promise to overflow their bank account. If Sean Miller really is the bag man that so many people believe he is, then the Lakers would be fools to not take advantage of his recruiting skills in their pursuit to re-emerge as title contenders.

Larry Fitzgerald is a Hall of Fame WR Despite What Max Kellerman Says

max kellerman says larry fitzgerald is not a hall of fame player

Max Kellerman has had a rough week on First Take. Not only did he inexplicably try and say that Kawhi Leonard is better under pressure than the legendary Kobe Bryant, he also threw in that Larry Fitzgerald “might” make the NFL Hall of Fame solely due to acquiring statistics over the course of a long career.

Not only was Max Kellerman embarrassingly wrong, but he’d also have been less crazy to make the assertion that Larry Fitzgerald is the greatest wide receiver to ever put on pads.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not in the “Larry Fitzgerald is the G.O.A.T”  camp. Not yet, anyway.

The best wide receiver I’ve ever seen play the in the NFL was Jerry Rice. The most talented, by a mile, was Randy Moss. It’s fun to debate who had the more dominant season, Jerry Rice in 1995 with his 122 catches and 1,848 yards, or Randy Moss in 2007 with his eight multi-touchdown games en route to an undefeated regular season. The overall edge goes to Rice, however, because no receiver in history has dominated three different Super Bowls.

After Rice and Moss, it gets a little murky. On my personal list, I have Larry Fitzgerald entrenched just ahead of Terrell Owens, Cris Carter, and Tim Brown.

Could you make the argument that Larry Fitzgerald is the best receiver of all time? Absolutely. Let’s go through his credentials:

Larry Fitzgerald Hall of Fame Stats

  • Second all-time in receiving yards, and sixth all-time in receiving touchdowns.
  • Had an NFL playoff record 546 receiving yards and seven touchdowns in the 2008 Super Bowl run.
  • Has 97 more catches than Jerry Rice did after 15 seasons in the league.
  • One of 28 NFL players to be selected to at least 11 Pro Bowls, 25 of whom are already enshrined in Canton (The others are Tom Brady and Drew Brees).
  • And perhaps most importantly, Larry Fitzgerald has the highest +/- of personal Pro Bowl selections vs. Quarterback Pro Bowl selections of any wide receiver in NFL History. In his 15 seasons, Fitzgerald has been a Pro Bowler nine times despite having only two seasons with a Pro Bowl QB- Kurt Warner in 2008, and Carson Palmer in 2015.

Jerry Rice had the benefit of playing with Joe Montana and Steve Young and had the most seasons in NFL history of any WR paired with a Pro Bowl QB, at 14.
Reggie Wayne spent 12 of his seasons with a Pro Bowl QB. Terrell Owens and Marvin Harrison had nine seasons apiece with a Pro Bowl QB. Randy Moss, Michael Irvin, Cris Carter, Torry Holt, and Andre Reed all had six seasons with a Pro Bowl QB. Isaac Bruce, Antonio Brown and Rod Smith had five. Tim Brown had four. Only Hines Ward and Andre Johnson can claim that they reached 1,000 career receptions with as few Pro Bowl seasons out of their quarterbacks as Larry Fitzgerald.

Knowing that Larry Fitzgerald already has more catches than Jerry Rice did at this point in his career, what do we think Larry would have accomplished by this point if you inserted him onto the 1980s and 90’s San Francisco 49ers in place of Rice? In my mind, there’s no doubt Larry Fitzgerald’s name would be synonymous with Michael Jordan, Michael Phelps, and Serena Williams, as one of the most dominant athletes, regardless of sport, in the history of planet earth.

Fitzgerald may be the G.O.A.T

As it stands now, an argument can be made that Larry Fitzgerald is the best ever, especially considering that he amassed his statistics and accolades despite quarterbacks not named Kurt Warner or Carson Palmer throwing for a total of 121 touchdowns and 160 interceptions in an Arizona Cardinals uniform since he entered the league.

Tucker Carlson Wants to End the War on Scrubs. As a Scrub, I say “What War?”

Tucker Carlson Fox News

I remember how hard it used to be to convince my wife to join Twitter. About the sixth time during each day that I’d burst into an immature cackle while scrolling through my feed, she’d roll her eyes, and I’d take that as my cue to try and convince her that Twitter was indeed a public good. I’d exalt the virtues of its use during instances of government suppression during the Arab Spring, or point out its real-time efficiency in figuring out traffic issues (people love to tweet about traffic while in traffic), but she knew the truth. I was in it for the nonsense.

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t have taken up the task of persuading her to join the fray. For one, I’d be able to avoid seeing all the Kliff Kingsbury-related tweets she favorites. (Apparently, he’s good looking?) But the biggest reason I regret my wife’s presence on Twitter is that she recently alerted me to a piece of video that has launched me into a tailspin of mind-numbing internal debate and dissonance.

“Studies Show”…

Maybe you’ve seen it, and perhaps I’m just reopening old wounds, but Fox News pundit Tucker Carlson recently let this bit of “wisdom” fly:

“Study after study has shown that when men make less than women, women generally don’t want to marry them. Maybe they should want to marry them but they don’t. Over big populations, this causes a drop in marriage, a spike in out of wedlock births and all the familiar disasters that inevitably follow, more drug and alcohol abuse, higher incarcerations rates, fewer families formed in the next generation.”

Here’s the point that Tucker Carlson was trying to make, summed up. White rural modern families now resemble urban families of the 1980s in that there’s rampant male unemployment, a drug epidemic, and an increased rate of births out of wedlock. And his culprit? Women making more money than men.
“This is not speculation; it’s not propaganda… it’s social science. We know it’s true.” Carlson opined, without citing any of the studies he so confidently referenced.
And who did Tucker Carlson blame for his assertion that poor white men can’t afford to put a ring on it? Rich, married folks.
“Here’s the bewildering and infuriating part. The very same affluent married people, the ones who make virtually all the decisions in our society, are doing pretty much nothing to help the people below them get, and stay married. Rich people are happy to fight malaria in Congo, but working to raise men’s wages in Dayton of Detroit? That’s crazy. This is negligence on a massive scale. Both parties ignore the crisis in marriage. Our mindless cultural leaders act like it’s still 1961, and the biggest problem American families face is that sexism is preventing millions of housewives from becoming investment bankers or Facebook executives.”

Modern Family

I don’t know where to start here. I suppose I’ll define where I’m coming from. I’m a work-from-home dad supporting a spouse whose income at her second job greatly outweighs my primary income. I know that on the whole, there’s little value in anecdotes, so take it for what it’s worth when I say I’m not just content in my complimentary role to my spouse, but that I feel, as much as anyone with four kids can, that we’re thriving. I mean, we’re drowning in life’s unceasing avalanche of responsibility, but as far as drowning goes, I feel like we’re doing a decent job. If we were on a metaphorical drowning talent show, I like to think Simon Cowell would be impressed.
Anyway, I’m happy. So maybe it’s the fact that I can’t relate that causes these comments to fail to resonate with me. Or perhaps it’s that I tend to be on the conservative side of things politically, which is where I thought Tucker Carlson resided. It’s hard for me to place the blame for society’s woes on the fact that women aren’t falling all over themselves to wear a white gown and recite vows across from “Cletus the unskilled laborer,” who grew up residing in a manufacturing graveyard and refused to pivot so he could support himself, much less an eventual theoretical family.

Correlation or Causation?

Is my gender having a crisis? Sure. And we always have been. The fact that some women make some money now isn’t the root of our ills. Correlation doesn’t prove causation. I seem to remember learning that one of the things that historically hyper-accelerates women’s participation in the workforce are the wars we testosterone-possessing Homo sapiens show an affinity for both generating and participating in.
There’s nothing more emasculating to me than Tucker Carlson’s assertion that the L’s that the male gender has been collecting aren’t even L’s that we earned. We’re all just victims in a dark timeline, and the reason we’re strung out on the trailer sofa, playing Xbox, and waiting for the coal mine to reopen, is so that we can at least enter some kind of tunnel since the fairer sex has abandoned us. And it’s all because some well-adjusted suburban couple was busy helping reduce the global malaria death rate 48% from 2000-2015. Those charitable bastards.

Is He Right?

Maybe Tucker Carlson is right. I mean, he isn’t. This is an aggressively anti-woman diatribe that also manages to make America’s men completely dependent on government assistance to get them a job and a partner. But for the sake of argument, let’s say that he at the very least has a point about the fact that women should be attracted to men who don’t make a whole lot of money.
I mean, that’s something I’m not going to spend too much time fighting him on. Especially since it worked out for me. My wife seems to have failed to heed the words of Rozanda “Chilli” Thomas, who once famously said, “Wanna get with me, with no money, oh no, I don’t want no scrub.”
I suppose another option for our gender would be to man up while manning up still implies exerting effort in order to overcome adversity. We could learn and develop marketable skills in order to attract a mate, and help take care of the kids we sire. Maybe we can stop acting like scrubs altogether?
But why would we do that when our TV talking heads are hanging out the passenger side of their Fox News ride, trying to holler that there’s someone else to blame?