It sucks when your team is inching closer to being part of the 5 Worst NFL Teams as Week Five is closing in. Thanks, Minnesota, close to being part of the five worst teams are you kidding me? What happened to that vaunted Mike Zimmer defense? Better get it right in Philly, or I cant save you next week for being in the five down, the five worst NFL teams oh my! I need a drink.
Ah yes, it’s that time of the week for 5 Up 5 Down: The five best and five worst teams in the NFL. We are Unafraid to piss you off by adding clubs who probably don’t belong in the Top 5. Sorry, Jacksonville at least your team doesn’t stink right now! Week 5 is here as the Colts and Patriots kick things off tonight. As always, There are some movers and shakers in our rankings, but we also have the Bills and Cardinals who are staples at being part of the Worst 5 in the NFL. What did we learn in Week 4? The Titans have a head coach with brass balls, seeing Quarterbacks with 50 or 60 passes and 400 yards is becoming a typical thing, Earl Thomas has a unique way of saying goodbye, Patrick Mahomes II is a star, and the Rams are the ultimate show in the NFL.
5 UP: The Five Best NFL Teams
1. LOS ANGELES RAMS (4-0) Last Week: 1st
No surprise here these Rams could overtake, “The Greatest Show on Turf” soon with the numbers they are putting up. I think the Rams just scored another touchdown against the Vikings while you were reading this. My question was, could Jared Goff take the next step? He has climbed over that step and is now atop the mountain. In my mind, Jared joined the elite in the NFL as witnessed by these picture-perfect passes vs. a shell-shocked Vikings defense. Goff tossed a perfect game (158.3 Rating) and has amassed some fantastic numbers so far this year (72.4 % 1,406 Yards 11 Td’s just 2 INT’s with a stunning 127.3 OBR). The Los Angeles Rams are the best team in football right now, but they are not as complete as I thought they were.
The defense has real issues at the LB position, and the secondary got torched by Kirk Cousins. The Rams are number one in our 5 Up due to the perfect record, high octane offense and an impressive plus 73 point differential. What is scary is they can be much better than this. A battle with division rivals, the Seattle Seahawks (2-2) on Sunday afternoon in the Emerald City is next. Las Vegas has the Rams at 7.5 favorites, and the all-time series stands at 23-17 for Seattle (they split both games last year). For the Rams, this kicks off three straight weeks on the road against some stiffer defenses (Seahawks, Broncos, and 49ers), but I fully expect them to win all of these game. Congrats Rams, two straight weeks atop our five up rankings.
2. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (4-0) Last Week: 2nd
We wanted to see Patrick Mahomes II (1,200 Yards, 14 Touchdowns, 126.5 QBR, with zero INT’s) get tested and he did in Denver on Monday night. I’m going to call him “Kid Dynamite,” found a way to get his 2nd win in the Mile High City (won last year in his first start as a Pro). The Broncos had some pressure on Patrick who once again used his feet to buy time to make big plays. He showed us some rookie throws which were fortunately not intercepted, but when the team needed him in the 2nd half, he delivered. This kid has that Brett Favre quality with improvising ability like changing hands to make a key play. He is pure excitement at the highest level becoming my favorite QB to watch in the NFL.
The Chiefs defense which has struggled a lot this year (ranked 32nd coming into the match-up) made some big plays as well. That interception by Eric Murray was a thing of beauty. An aspect that the “D” has done well all year is making some key stops on third down. They prevented another Keenum miracle at the end of the game to keep the record perfect. K.C. will have its toughest test of the year so far as the Jacksonville Jaguars (3-1) come to town. The Chiefs are 3 point favorites, but the Jags lead the all-time series six games to five.
3. TENNESSEE TITANS (3-1) Last Week: Unranked
I had to bump Jacksonville out of our Top 5 this week since they won ugly on Sunday (plus the Titans beat them). A team that won me over for having the gutsiest coach in the NFL are the Tennessee Titans. What a dramatic call against the Eagles to go for the win and sidestep the tie. A huge 4th down conversion with game-tying FG in reach. Thank you, Mike Vrabel we hate ties! That win vs. the defending Super Bowl Champs is one that builds team unity, confidence and a season of epic success. You don’t believe me watch this postgame speech by my new favorite Head Coach. Oh, by the way, Marcus Mariota is growing into an amazing leader, and we might have also seen the birth as well of an elite wide receiver, in Corey Davis.
Tennesee is quickly becoming a team that many around the NFL don’t want to face. The Defense is playing great, and a dramatic gutsy overtime victory versus Philly is why the Titans hold the third position in our 5 Up rankings. The Titans will travel to Buffalo (1-3) to battle the Bills. Tennessee is 3 point favorites to get the road win, and they lead the all-time series 28-17. One can never forget the Music City Miracle between these two teams in 2000 one of the great endings of all-time.
4. CHICAGO BEARS (3-1) Last Week: Unranked
So I am mixing it up in my five up. This team deserves a chance to be here since they should be (4-0) right now. Mitch Trubisky had a career day throwing for six touchdowns and the Bears receiving core (Robinson, White (amazing at blocking), Gabriel, and Miller) is improving right before our eyes. Some things the Bears need to do better is run blocking and running the ball. Neither Howard or Cohen have been consistent and with a young QB that is still developing that needs to improve. I like how Matt Nagy goes after it very aggressive, similar to Sean McVay.
The biggest monster of the midway is Khalil Mack. He is the first player since Robert Mathis (2005) to record a sack and force a fumble in four straight games. It’s incredible to watch the rest of the defense pick up its energy level and try to emulate the play of the defensive MVP of the league right now. Chicago Bears fans should be very excited with a young team on the rise, and they will get a week off to enjoy it and root against the NFC North rivals.
5. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (3-1) Last Week: Unranked
It’s all about the spectacular Alvin Kamara who created history on Sunday. He was a monster last week, and he can beat you in so many ways. The Saints offense keeps getting more creative. Sean Payton might be the best play-caller in the business. Drew Brees is on the verge of becoming the all-time leading passer in NFL history. We don’t talk enough about him, but we are watching one of the all-time greats continue to play at a very high level.
If the defense can get its act together (allowing 30 points a game), then this team could represent the NFC in Atlanta for Super Bowl 53. The Saints battle the Redskins on Monday Night at home and are currently 7 point favorites. Washington leads the all-time series 17-9, but the Saints beat the Skins last year in OT, 34-31.
Closing in or falling out of our top 5 this week: Honorable Mention
Miami Dolphins (3-1), Cincinnati Bengals (3-1), Jacksonville Jaguars (3-1), Baltimore Ravens (3-1), Philadelphia Eagles (2-2).
5 DOWN: The Five worst NFL teams
28. HOUSTON TEXANS (1-3) Last Week: Unranked
The Houston Texans should send Indianapolis Colts Head Coach Frank Reich a thank you card. Thanks to a horrible decision to go for it in OT on their side of the field, the Texans were able to end a horrific 9 game losing streak. DeShaun Watson played well (375 Yards 2 touchdowns) despite being sacked seven times and hurried on numerous occasions. Like many offensive lines in the NFL (Vikings, Cardinals, Bills) the Houston Texans Big Boys up front stink right now! I realize that Patrick Mahomes II is the new fancy toy to drool over but watching DeShaun versus the Colts, you know he is going to be a Super Star.
The defense needs to get its act together. When you have Watt, Clowney, and Whitney things shouldn’t be this poor (every game they have allowed 20 or more points). A Battle of Texas this Sunday Night as the Cowboys (2-2) come to town. Houston is favored by three and a half points, but the Cowboys lead the all-time series three games to one. I’m going to go on a limb to say; the Texans will not be part of the five worst NFL teams next week.
29. N.Y. JETS (1-3) Last Week: Unranked
Well after week one, New York Jet fans were thinking Super Bowl. Okay maybe that is a little much but a road win in Detroit by a ton of points this might be a 9 or 10 win season. Nope, rookie quarterback falls back down to Earth, but it’s not all his fault. Sam Darnold has been okay, but the offense is so intricate without any stars that things need to be simplified quicky. The bigger issue might be developing on the other side of scrimmage.
The defense is holding a players-only meeting to talk about eliminating miscommunications. The Jets are making way too many mistakes, and this is squarely on Todd Bowles shoulders. An ominous sign for a Head Coach who is already on the hot seat. New York will welcome the Denver Broncos to MetLife Stadium. The Jets will be two-point favorites, but Denver leads the all-time series 20-15-1. How long will the J-E-T-S be part of the five worst NFL teams, this week will be a true indicator.
30. OAKLAND RAIDERS (1-3) Last Week: 30th
The Raiders are fortunate to have won on Sunday against Baker Mayfield and the Cleveland Browns. They came within an inch of being 0-4. In a must win, the offense got it done. Derek Carr put up huge numbers (437 yards 4 TD’s 2 INTS), and Jared Cook is becoming an unstoppable weapon. The offense has been putting up big numbers, but the problem is on the other side of the ball.
While Khalil Mack is doing things we haven’t seen since 2005 in Chicago, The Raiders defense can’t stop the run, pass, or opposing teams from scoring. Only Tampa Bay has given up more points. One shining star has been the play of rookie Maurice Hurst who has shown on tape over and over. Oakland’s defense needs only to be average for this sinking ship to float again. In four games though that defense looks like it will keep the Silver and Black in the five worst teams in the NFL. The Raiders will play what seems to be a home game in LA versus the Chargers (2-2). San Diego will be 6 point favorites, but the Raiders lead the series 63-52-1.
31. BUFFALO BILLS (1-3) Last Week: 28th
After shocking the world with a huge upset the week before in Minnesota, the Bills true colors came out as they got embarrassed 22-0 to the Packers at Lambeau. Josh Allen, as our George Wrighster has pointed out on many occasions, was very inaccurate on Sunday. He looked like a deer in headlights thanks to an offensive line that allowed seven sacks. LeSean McCoy returned and ran for a paltry 24 yards. The Buffalo Bills showed us all at Lambeau field why they might be picking first in the 2019 NFL Draft. An awful football team who will use this year to gain experience. Hopefully, Josh Allen’s confidence won’t be destroyed.
The Bills will always be part of the 5 worst NFL teams here in 2018-2019. Arizona is somehow below them right now in our rankings, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see the Cards overtake Buffalo at some point this year. The Good news for the Bills is they are home this Sunday, but the bad news is it’s against the red-hot Tennessee Titans. Hey, at least the Buffalo Wings are really good, and the Sabres drop the puck this week.
32. ARIZONA CARDINALS (0-4) Last Week: 32nd
The Cards look to be a staple in the 5 worst NFL teams. Another week and another poor outing by the Cardinals offense. In four weeks of play, this team has put up an NFL worst 37 points. I am guessing soon the defense might take out some anger on that offense in practice. The Cardinals have shown some fight the last two weeks, but 0-4 is pathetic. Josh Rosen did provide a glimmer of hope (180 Yards 1 TD’s no interceptions), but this offense is just brutal. Please set Larry Fitzgerald free. He deserves a chance to finish his career with something better than this. What is going on with running back David Johnson? Fantasy owners are going crazy!
The Cardinals travel to San Francisco to battle division foes the (1-3) 49ers. Niners are 4 point favorites at home and lead the all-time series 29-24, but the Cards have won the last six match-ups.
Teams that are Knocking on futilities door:
San Francisco 49ers (1-3), N.Y. Giants (1-3), Detroit Lions (1-3), Minnesota Vikings (1-2-1), Pittsburgh Steelers (1-2-1)
Come back next Thursday for Five Up Five Down, The five best NFL Teams and the five worst NFL Teams for Week 6.
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