Chris Bosh Flopping Application

I have been silent on my blog for a while now. I’m back. Inspiration has arrived in the form of Chris Bosh. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a Laker fan. As a Laker fan I have seen some of the best “flops” of all-time. Vlade Divac, former Laker center and G.O.A.T., was a unanimous first ballot selection for the Flopping Hall of Fame and has recently opened a school specifically dedicated to the art of flopping. They recently started a very exclusive program, “Acting To Get A Whistle: Defense”. Here is my letter of recommendation for Chris Bosh.

To Whom It May Concern:

I would like to take the opportunity to offer a formal recommendation for Chris Bosh. Recently, I learned of your “Acting To Get a Whistle: Defense” program and I am confident Chris has the tools to be an exceptional student. As you probably already know, he recently joined Dwyane Wade and LeBron James and took his talents to South Beach to form the “Big 3” in Miami. Although Chris is one of the best big men in the NBA he has not been met with the same celebration from fans as Wade and James. Admission to your ATGAWD program will give Chris the skills necessary to change his image as a soft player and be loved by his hometown fans. I was watching the Heat vs Bulls game last night and saw Chris Bosh flop. I immediately knew he had the raw talent and intangibles to be one of the flopping greats. He successfully pulled off the worst flop in NBA history. The work your program has done with some of the future Flopping Hall of Famers like Anderson Varejao, Paul Pierce, Manu Ginobili, Raja Bell, Andrei Kirilenko, and Derek Fisher has been nothing short of incredible. An education at your esteemed school will help him reach that level, while increasing his career opportunities. I highly recommend Chris Bosh for your program and thank you for your careful consideration of his application.

 

Week 4: Winners and Fantasy Top 5

I had a nice blog all done for Week 4 filled with witty banter and great write ups on this weeks games. I logged on to post it and it was gone, erased and nowhere to be found. I’m very upset right now so I’m just posting my picks and fantasy players. I went 7-9 last week which puts me at 24-14. That sucks but I will return to form this week.

WINNERS: 
JETS, BENGALS, TITANS, SAINTS, PACKERS, SEAHAWKS, FALCONS, RAVENS, TEXANS, COLTS, EAGLES, CHARGERS, GIANTS, PATRIOTS




QBS: Carson Palmer, Vince Young, Matt Shaub, Peyton Manning, Kyle Orton
WRs: Chad Ocho Cinco, Austin Collie, Brandon Marshall, Desean Jackson, Brandon Lloyd
RBs: Chris Johnson, Arian Foster, LeSean McCoy, Darren McFadden, 
TEs: Dustin Keller, Jermichael Finley, Dallas Clark, Antonio Gates
Def: Jets, Packers, Bengals, Colts

Guess Who’s Back? #84


The slate is clean. I control my own destiny. It’s time to start over and start fresh. This is a new beginning to my football career so I’m taking it back to my roots. I changed my number from 87 to my high school number 84. They say “It’s only a number!”, but after 6 years of being number 87 I feel attached to it. Email accounts, phone numbers, my signature, nicknames, and everything else has been attached to a number. I have jerseys hanging on the wall, and countless pictures with me rocking the 87. It’s only been 3 weeks but I miss it already. Changing numbers is kinda like giving Linus from the Peanuts comic strip a new blanket. It would be hard for him until he found out his new blanket was more comfortable than the old one. That is how I felt. The first day I put the 84 on it felt funny but then I looked in the mirror and thought, “Oh yeah, this 8-4 looks good on me”. LOL. All the memories of my high school glory came flooding back and I liked it.

Just the thought of playing for Sylmar High in my navy blue 84 makes me smile. I remember the smell of the fresh cut grass, the band playing, and the Friday Night Lights! Every football player will tell you that high school was the most fun they ever had playing football. I can hear the Sylmar High School fight song in my head as I write. The game was still innocent then and you played solely for the love of the game, dreams of winning a championship, and hopes that your picture would be in the Saturday morning paper. I was dedicated to playing well and earning a scholarship to play in college but that was the least of my concerns. Every Saturday when I woke up, my first move was to check out the sports section of the LA Times and the Daily News. If I didn’t make the paper I was HIGHLY upset and next Friday somebody was in trouble!

I’m back in the number I started with and I will make it back where I want to be – in the NFL, and being considered one of the best. When I close my eyes I see my team winning a Super Bowl and me being the first TE Super Bowl MVP. I still dream and visualize being the best. If you don’t dream it, you will never achieve it. I love this game, but the innocence of playing football is long behind me. Professional football is a business and not for the faint of heart. Now football is about being the best player I can be, winning a championship, and supporting my family. My passion and love for the game never left, but finally all the fun in football is back. I have been blessed to live my dream of being a professional athlete and I will never take that for granted. I have my 84 back and I’m in love with football all over again!

Football Season x2


Ladies, Gentleman, Boys, and Girls it’s that time of year again, tailgates, face painting, flag flying, chest bumping, and end zone celebrations. Yes, it’s the start of the UFL 2010 season… Wait, what??? You mean the NFL right? No, I mean the UFL (United Football League). No it’s not arena football, no it’s not played in Canada and no you don’t need a passport to go to Europe to see it. It’s played right here in the States, with the same rules as the NFL & most importantly it has NFL caliber players. Many of which have had NFL careers and are trying to restart their career after injury or hoping for a rebirth and a fresh start in the UFL.

You may have heard of Jeff Garcia (4 time pro-bowler), Daunte Culpepper (3 time pro-bowler), or even Head Coaches Jim Fassel & Dennis Green, two coaches that have respectively won 177 NFL games as head coaches in the NFL.

Last year was the inaugural season for the UFL that featured 4 teams. This year the League has added 1 more team. The league consists of the Florida Tuskers, Hartford Colonials, Las Vegas Locos (defending champions), Sacramento Mountain Lions, and the newest kids on the block the Omaha Nighthawks.

The UFL is not just a bunch of ragga-muffin players, has-beens and draft busts. It’s a league that has quality talent. Over 40 UFL players have signed with NFL teams in just one season of play and this year it’s looking like even more will take that leap. The UFL prides itself on putting out a great product for the fans. The teams are becoming heavily involved in local communities and games are a great family atmosphere. So in the words of my boys T.O. & OchoCinco “Get your popcorn ready & Kiss the Baby” this season is going to be great!!

UFC 117: I’m torn… Not so much


On Saturday August 7, UFC 117 Silva v. Sonnen, is “supposed” to be the fight that pushes Silva to his limit. Sonnen has been talking a lot of trash in promotion of this fight. Silva has no choice but to leave the gimmicks at home and put on a show and win all his fans back. (Sidebar: While looking up Sonnen’s UFC record I kept wondering why the name Chael Sonnen sounded and he looked familiar. Man this dude went to Oregon, who knew? I root for all Ducks, but Silva is my favorite MMA fighter. I’ll root for him against anyone else.) If this were a war of words Sonnen would have a first round knockout. He said this will be Silva’s “retirement party” and he will “dominate him”. That’s big talk coming from a guy I’ve barely heard of, against a guy who is undefeated in the UFC and hasn’t lost since 2006.

When you look at Anderson “Spider” Silva and hear him talk you get no indication that he is pound for pound the most dangerous athlete on the planet. A squeaky voice and a slim frame without bulging muscles are a perfect cover for this venomous fighter. If you have watched a Silva fight lately, you have felt like you are watching a Floyd Maywheather fight. A one sided, technical master piece, full of showmanship that Silva walks away from without a scratch and barely a sweat. In UFC 112 Silva fought Demian Maia and dominated him from the opening bell, but after he beat Maia to a pulp he literally danced around the ring and even got into a sprinters stance. Spectators wanted a knockout, Anderson did not deliver. These displays of showmanship and apparent lack of a competitive fight have gotten under the skin of UFC President Dana White. White has threatened to kick Silva out of the UFC if the antics happen again. Who believes White would do this to his best fighter? Not me, not anybody. That’s like the NFL banning Favre because he is stringing us along. Yeah Right!!!

I predict a fight that will, when it’s all said and done, will be one sided. Silva will knock Sonnen out before the end of the 3rd round, or get a submission by the end of the 4th. Either way, Silva should emerge the victor and Sonnen will be left bloodied and defeated. However, Sonnen is getting in the ring so he does have a chance. He can win, if he is fortunate enough to connect with a “Tarver Punch” (referring to the eyes closed head down punch that Antonio Tarver knocked out Roy Jones with).

I know fighters have to talk trash to promote the fight, but I think you need to keep it to a minimum when you are fighting THE BEST and your credentials don’t say the same about you. Unless you win of course. If Sonnen does win, what else would you expect? He’s a Duck!!!

And The Oscar Goes To….

And The Oscar for Best Dramatic Actor Goes To…. Brett Favre

He got y’all again. I refused to fall for it the 3rd time again. You didn’t really think Brett Favre was gonna let us off easy this year, did you? Compared to the last 3 off seasons, this year was quiet with Favre talk so everyone assumed he would just quietly come back. “Not so fast my friend” (Lee Corso voice). You have to think about the reason Favre gave us a pass until now; he couldn’t dominate the news all summer because of the LeBron sweepstakes. He knew he couldn’t compete with the LeBron drama. Maybe Favre should have a two hour special on ABC called, “The Decision 2”. But now it’s August and the spotlight is his alone. All he had to do was pull his cell phone outta his wranglers and send a couple text messages to teammates and he was alone at the top! Every news channel and social network is focused on him. I imagine Brett is at home sitting on his couch, with his feet propped up, drinking a beer smiling inside and out while he is listening to “Encore” by Jay Z.

I don’t know if he will retire, but I won’t believe it until he is not under center week 1 of 2011 season. Yes 2011. That’s a long way away but Favre has a flair for the dramatic.

What happened to Onterrio Smith?

Countless people have asked me “What happened to Onterrio Smith?”.
I have heard every “Wizzinator” joke possible. They were funny to so many people, but not to me. Onterrio was my college roommate, good friend, and one of the most talented football players I have ever seen. Now, he is a legend in Sacramento High School football, and infamous for his fall from grace. His is a story we have heard many times, but its different because he is MY friend; star athlete with everything it takes to be a professional athlete falls victim to violence, drugs, or tragedy.
If you ever wonder what football coaches dream about I’ll tell you. They dream about players who are fast, powerful, elusive, strong, hard-working, tough, quick, mentally strong, with great hands, understands the game, leader, and a passion for being the best. They dream about Onterrio Smith. He was the best running back in the 2003 draft (even better than Willis McGahee), but slipped from a high 1st round pick to the 4th round because of “character issues” stemming from drug use. Mike Tice, former Minnesota Vikings head coach and current assistant coach for the Jacksonville Jaguars, said Onterrio was the best running back he had ever coached, and that he could have been great. That is high praise coming from a man who played in the NFL for 14 years and has coached for longer than that.
Onterrio came from a broken home in the projects of Sacramento to be a football star at Grant High School. After an illustrious High School career he accepted a scholarship to attend the University of Tennessee. It was clear from his first day at school that he was a star both socially and on the field. The Volunteer fans only got to witness his amazing abilities for one season before he was kicked out for marijuana use.
Onterrio then transferred to the University of Oregon where we met. From the moment everyone met him they fell in love with his magnetic personality. “O- Smith” would light up the room with his smile. He is one of the most likable, giving, caring, and charismatic people I have ever met, and quickly became a loyal and trusted friend. His fall hurts me so much because I know how he grew up. I know his family, his kids, and his story.
I remember the day I realized everything had changed like it was yesterday. Onterrio returned home after being gone for 3 days wearing the same clothes he left in. That same day I got a phone call asking if he was ok because the night before he had been waking up in cold sweats. Something about those events and his behavior just didn’t sit well will me, so I asked both ‘Terrio (as we called him) and our other roommate about it. They both told me I was trippin’, but in my heart I knew I wasn’t. Ladies and Gentlemen, that was the beginning of the end.
Addiction has no socio-economic or cultural bias. It can happen to any family. It can happen to people who may seem to be on the top of the world and have everything to live for. Darryl Strawberry, Stanley Wilson Sr., Ken Caminiti, Michael Irvin, Eddie Griffin, and Len Bias are a short list of athletes who have been victims of addiction. O-Smith, who had the potential to be one of the best running backs in the NFL, is another sad example of how drugs can ruin a life and career.

I watch a show on A&E called Intervention, which is a video documentary about addicts and their struggle with addiction. A camera crew follows alcoholics, drug addicts, and people with OCD, eating disorders, and other addictions. Those featured on the show do not know that they will soon face an intervention by their family. After the intervention, the addicts must either elect to enter a treatment facility immediately, or face alienation from those they love. It is a great show but it’s very sad to see how addiction affects not only the addict, but the toll it takes on their families and loved ones as well. Addiction has struck in my own family, but somehow Onterrio’s struggle hurts worse because unlike my family, I witnessed it happening. I talked to him, prayed for him, and helped him through rehab, but it feels like I failed. One thing I learned from this is for an addict to get clean he or she has to want to do it more than anything else in the world.

No one wants to be a drug addict. People like using drugs and alcohol because of the feeling they get from it or to escape their problems, but no one wants to be like the people on Intervention. Those featured on the show are at rock bottom or near it. When people begin using drugs they never think they will end up meth, ecstasy, crack, heroine, cocaine, prescription pill or alcohol addicts. After watching Intervention, seeing famous people fall victim to addiction, and watching my friend’s life and career tailspin out of control, I have but one thing to say: Just say no!!! However cliche it may sound, fact is that making one bad decision can shatter your dreams, ruin your life, and/or kill you.
One day I hope I can update this story with one of triumph, redemption, and recovery.

The Not So Civil War




Breaking news: It is being reported that Oregon State head football coach Mike Riley will only be able to dress twenty players for the Oregon game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves!!

Eugene and Corvallis are separated by one highway, but the separation between the Green/Gold and the Black/Pumpkin Orange is much greater. In Eugene we have a saying, if you see a Beaver with a Championship ring, call the Police, He’s a thief!!

The Civil War, Ducks vs Beavers, is not so civil!!! There couldn’t be bigger differences between the two schools that are only about 47 miles apart. The rivalry is like Big Brother vs Little Brother, the Haves vs the Have-Nots, or the popular vs the unpopular kids. The Beavers look at themselves like blue-collar, hard workers who are the meat and potatoes of this country. They feel they earn everything they get, but we get everything handed to us on a silver platter. So when the Beavers play the Ducks they have a big chip on their shoulder, because they live in the humongous shadow of the “O”. If the Beavs feel the Ducks look down on the kids that play for Corvallis, they should. We do! OSU is a team to be respected and never taken lightly, but Duck players and fans feel we should never lose to “little brother”. The guys from Corvallis take our hand-me-downs and left-overs. We didn’t want Orange so they took it. We get the newest uniforms, they get what is left. We get nationally televised games, they get the occasional regional broadcast plus radio. The Ducks are striving higher for National Championships while the Beavers are trying to climb fast to where we currently are.


Why is my disdain for the Beavers so great? Simple. I’m a Duck. During my four years at Oregon the Beavers beat us twice!!! That includes a 45-24 Shellacking in Corvallis my last year at Oregon. Until 3 days ago I had blocked that memory out of my mind. Honestly until I was reminded I really thought we won (I’m blocking, I know lol). It still haunts me. So yes, when we get a chance to knock off the Beavers for a Pac-10 championship and a Rose Bowl Bid, I’m going hard.

Classic Civil War story: One time during the week of the civil war Samie Parker, Onterrio Smith and I were in Red Robin and I saw TJ Housh “Your daddy” (OSU wide receiver) sitting there with his wife and daughter. I had our waitress deliver him a note that said we were gonna beat the breaks off of him. TJ is a friend of mine now and a great guy. I was talking to him about that before the season started and he said, “man, I thought I was gonna have to fight ya’ll with the family there”. LOL, it was all done in good fun. TJ got the last laugh tho, Oregon State won the game.

What makes the “Un”-Civil War so great? You never know who is gonna win. What’s on the line in this game? BRAGGING RIGHTS! Two great programs competing with their whole heart and soul to represent the state of Oregon. If you win no one can say a word to you, if you lose you have a year of heckling to deal with. Both schools alumni have so much pride and love for our perspective schools that a loss is devastating. In addition, we want to be the team to represent the Conference of Champions (Pac-10) in the Rose Bowl.

This is the Biggest game in recent UO/OSU history. Winner goes to the Rose Bowl. The Ducks haven’t been to the Rose Bowl since ’95 (We did go to Fiesta Bowl in 02′ though). The Beavers haven’t been since 1965… That’s a long time for both schools. And the intensity in Autzen Stadium will be nothing less then ELECTRIFYING!!!!

The Man Spa

I love going to the Barber shop (when I call ahead because I hate waiting), the comedy relief and insight you get when you are there is priceless. I go to a shop called Blades (formerly 818) out in the valley and this shop has “characters”. There is Dave my Guy, who is like the cool Urkel (Stephon Urkel, if you watched Family Matters you know the difference). It’s like he wears glasses, but he sags. Then there is Chitown. He is from Chicago and no matter what the conversation is about somehow he will end up saying “so what Michael Jordan is the best ever, say he ain’t”. Umh, Chi-town, we were asking if you wanted something from the store (confused face).

Then there is the Light-skin homie Mo who cuts my sons hair. He is cool, but light-skin dudes with curly tops always remind me of Tobey Bailey & Al B Sure. He does a good job on my little man’s hair (especially his mohawks). Except the time D got a little excited and turned his head 2 quick and ended up w/ a slit in his eyebrow like he was the 3rd member of Kriss Kross. Hey, he’s 3!!

The Barber Shop is the Man’s spa. It’s how we relax. No conversation or topic is off limits in the Shop. If you are looking for insight into a city or a particular community, just make your way into a popular neighborhood barbershop. You will find out the latest rumors in everything from sports to politics to the last story on 20/20. A question or topic is brought to the floor then the debate begins. Topics are discussed with the passion and fervor of a Presidential debate.
“Ok, who would you marry and who would you just want to have a 1 night stand with, Halle Berry, Beyonce, or Alicia Keys?”
“Did you hear President Obama speech about the stimulus package?”
“Man, did you hear about that kid that got kidnapped?”
“You know who looks good…. The Lakers!” This topic always starts here and ends up everywhere.
The barbershop is a place where feelings can get hurt, egos can be bruised and is the epitome of “Free Speech” at its highest level. If someone walks in w/ a fine girl, the minute they leave every barber & customer in there will be talking about “ahhh man, did you see the cakes on her”. Vice Versa if they walk in w/ Lassie on their arms, trust there will be plenty of Barks once the door closes.
On a side note, until a couple months ago my nephew AK had never been to the barbershop, and D always go to the barbershop together, but AK wheres the curly fro. D always walks in to the shop confident and knows what is going on. D is used to seeing all the guys, music, and TVs going on at the same time, but not AK. As he was walking in for his first time he froze, looked around like he had no clue what goes on in there. Everyone stopped and laughed! It was hilarious. You would have thought someone was gonna cut his hair or something! Don’t worry, we didn’t cut his hair.
I won’t say I get all my great ideas from the Shop, but I will say it is definitely one of my places of inspiration. The Shop is a think-tank. You can never get too full of yourself because the minute you walk into Blades you have to check your ego at the door. Not checking your ego will result in a barrage of jokes brought on by everyone holding a pair of Clippers. 20 bucks gets you a lesson in humility, a great time, and a fresh cut. I choose the Barber Shop over the spa any day!

Pac-Man Will Beat Cotto




Reasons Pacquiao will beat Cotto

* Experience- Pacquiao has had more “big fights” and against better opponents. He has stopped great fighters like: Ricky Hatton, Oscar De la Hoya, Erik Morales, and gone the distance with Marco Antonio Barrera and Juan Manuel Marquez.

*Defense- Pacquiao is one of the most aggressive fighters in the game and lays it on the line time after time, but in his last few fights there has been a noticeable change. Freddy Roach has taught Manny how to control his aggressive nature and minimize his risk of getting knocked out or hurt by a good punch from an inferior fighter. The combination of Cotto’s wide looping punches and average defensive skills will be a recipe for a Pacquiao knockout between the 7-9th round.

*Antonio Margarito- Cotto was fast on the rise when he stepped into the ring with Margarito. Margarito beat Cotto to a bloody pulp that required him to leave the arena in an ambulance. When it comes to boxers, ego and confidence are everything. Once you lose that feeling of invincibility you will never be the same. There has been many questions raised regarding the Maragrito/Cotto fight in light of Margarito being suspended for a year for attempting to use “plaster of paris” in his hand wraps against Mosley.

*Philippines- Both boxers respectively have their entire country behind them and are depending on their hero to bring home a victory. Pacquiao has the most riding on this fight. The Philippines have been ravaged by typhoons and Pac-Man knows the people need a morale boost.

*The Entire Boxing World- This is a big fight, but everybody who loves to see great fights will be rooting for Pac-Man. Why? “Pretty Boy” Floyd “Money” Mayweather. The only chance a fight between Pacquiao and Mayweather will take place is if Pac-man wins. The #1 “Pound for Pound” fighter vs the real #1 “Pound for Pound” fighter. You can pick which one is which, but it’s hard to go against the guy with 0 losses!

Cotto is a great boxer and is worthy of a lot of respect and can win this fight with a well executed game plan and some vastly improved defense. The grumblings amongst Pacquiao camp members is that the typhoons could actually serve as a distraction and open a window for Cotto to get a huge win. I’m hoping this fight will be 7-9 rounds of entertaining action. The “Sweet Science” of boxing needs a great fight that will lead to another Super Fight.